Thirty-four Mile Pizza

The obligatory Halloween Post

2010-11-01T15:24:00.000-04:00

This was a rather tame Halloween this year compared to those in the past. With the boys off at college and serving in the military, the girls were left to their own devices. They both devleoped their own costumes, and they were great. My teenage drama queen decided to be Zombie Marilyn Monroe and Niece was a Zombie Prom Queen. And let me tell you, I'm glad I wasn't her competition. The girls were also joined by our little friend Andy who was dressed as a character from Star Wars, Episode I Don't Know What (And don't ask me the character name. Even though I asked Andy many, many times over the course of the evening, I cannot for the life of me recall.).

All right, who knows how to drive this thing?

Marilyn Monroe with an Elvis lip

Who knew Zombies wore flip flops?

Great. Our driver left.

Stop smiling. You're supposed to be scary!

My date left me in this pumpkin patch and all I got was these dead flowers.

The Elvis lip again. Who knew Marilyn and Elvis were so close?

After their marathon makeup session (it took me about four hours total to apply all the fake skin and zombie-esque makeup and blood), we descended upon the Southern Belle Farm for some fun. The girls really enjoyed running through the corn maze, encountering unsuspecting people coming around the corners. They had a great time and had lots of requests for photos and compliments on their costumes.

Later, the girls provided a great view for the other people in the pizza place. Pizza ... Zombies with bloody festering wounds. A great combo. After a quick run through WalMart (with more requests for photos that hopefully won't end up here), we called it a night. The girls were a little disappointed they were "too old" for trick-or-treating, but Sister L made up for it by buying out half the candy aisle. Hope you and yours had a great, safe Halloween, however you ended up spending the evening. Oh, and by the way, if you go through a roadblock with a Zombie, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It provides the guys and girls who have to work a little bit of levity.

Yes I am alive...

2010-09-03T12:11:00.000-04:00

I am a bad blogger. A bad blogger in that I have not posted for the greater potion of a calendar year. But I have an excuse! Since my last post my son was transferred to his technical school in Gulfport, MS,

In the Classroom

I can make things!

and we made a few trips to see him,

I started seeing another doctor and had another surgery which I am still trying to recover from,

Told ya (and yes, those (14) wires are embedded in bone)

celebrated my son graduating from his tech school and coming home for a short visit, saw my nephew graduate (with Honors!) from high school,

SURPRISE! Look who made it home for your big day!

sent my son off to his first permanent duty station clear across the country, sent my daughter back to school as a Junior and went back to work, but not before learning to crochet.

Saw my little girl apply her skills:

And made a road trip to see my nephew begin his college career.

Road Trippin' to Savannah

Hopefully, I can get myself in gear and start posting again. Hopefully.

The Earth almost slid to a stop ...

2010-02-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

A disturbing thing happened yesterday on the internet(s). Check out the article here. Thankfully, YouTube came to its senses very quickly.

I'm working on it...

2010-02-04T14:18:00.001-05:00

We've been back from San Antonio for a couple of weeks and I'm still working on putting together a video of our trip. The Flip was the best and worked great AND I didn't drop it in the water on our tour of the Riverwalk. Bonus! It was a great trip, beautiful weather and most importantly, we got to see our Scootie for the first time in months. Woo hoooo! So stand by and I'll get it up as soon as possible. Promise. For now, a snapshot of my pride and joy (and his "Flat Cousins" who weren't able to make the trip).

I'm a Flipper

2010-01-13T06:48:00.001-05:00

Photo from here

I got my new Flip Mino HD yesterday and cannot wait to start using it to annoy everyone around me. So far, Sissy and I have just been goofing around, but I really am going to work it when we go to San Antonio to Scootie's graduation from boot camp. I hope I will be singing its praises from the rooftoops and not picking up the pieces after I've slammed it to the ground in frustration. We shall see. Of course, I am not being compensated in ANY way for my opinions (however, I wish I was!), which are just that. MY opinions. So far, so good. I was able to slip it in my pocket this morning on my way out the door with no annoying need for extra batteries, connecting cables, chargers, etc.

The website was super easy to order from, and the design options are excellent. You can even make your own, with your own photo! I did not choose that option ( I chose the design above), but if I order another in the future, I probably will. Also, because I ordered directly from Flip, I got a free accessory! I chose the power adapter, which allows you to charge the camera in any standard power outlet (instead of plugging into a computer). There are bunches of retailers you can buy this camera from like Best Buy, Office Depot, Target, WalMart, etc. but you would be limited in what colors you could purchase at these places.

So, stay tuned for videos and we'll see how we like this little gadget. IF I can keep Sissy from converting it to her own use.

So I haven't been here in so long people thought I was dead...

2010-01-12T14:59:00.000-05:00

As you can see, my blogging has been non-existent. I probably could blame it on a lot of things. Perhaps it's because I shipped my son off to bootcamp and the world around me seems so much quieter. Perhaps it's because of all the holiday hoop-la. Maybe I've lost my mojo. Well, today I was called on it and I guess I have to give in and post. I'll make it a long one filled with pics of what's been going on and maybe that will suffice for today. Here we go:

We had a going away bonfire chili party for Scootie

Scootie and Friends

The last shave...with an audience

The morning before "shipping day"

the biggest rice krispie treat i've ever seen, decorated by Sissy and Niece

ThankChristmas

He swears

This is REALLY happening

It's like the first day of school all over again

Flat Scootie is born

for some reason, I got NO DOUGHNUTS from this shopping trip

Flat Sccotie helps wrap gifts

My kids on Christmas Eve

Everyone loves (Flat) Scootie

Maybe a little TOO much

A-nut L and Andy

Flat Scootie gets first piok (pay no attention to the rolls [and I don't mean the crescents])

BTK gets humiliated...AGAIN

Me, too!

Happy New Year!

And, that should catch me up somewhat. Happy?

Thanks!

2009-12-09T08:24:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Rae Ann over at Critical Mass and The Button Box for giving my humble little blog a makeover. She did a great job! Maybe now I'll get myself in gear and start posting again!

Under Construction

2009-11-17T12:52:00.000-05:00

Please bear with me. My site is under construction.

Also, I am having a crisis.

My baby is leaving in exactly seven days for boot camp. SEVEN DAYS, PEOPLE! I may not be posting very much. We just had his going away party this past Saturday and now we are preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas in one fell swoop. So, Harry Thankmas or Meppy Chrisgiving and I'll see you when I see you.

2009-11-05T18:41:00.002-05:00

Poor BTK. he has to suffer so much humiliation. Every time his *mother* Sissy puts his Snuggie on him he immediately falls over and refuses to move. Perhaps it's from embarrassment. Perhaps it's because his mother has a matching Snuggie in pink. Whatever it is, as soon as that thing comes off, he disappears for quite some time. Odd.

Poker Face ReMix

2009-11-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

I love Funny or Die. When I need a little pick me up, I immediately go for the funny these guys provide. The latest? Christopher Walken doing Lady Gaga's Poker Face.

Christopher Walken sings "Poker Face" - watch more funny videos

OMG. It's almost as good as his skit on SNL. What would make it better? More cowbell.

Some of my other favorites from funnyordie.com are "The Landlord" and "Good Cop, Baby Cop."

You're welcome.

The Landlord from Will Ferrell

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

2009-11-04T13:10:00.001-05:00

Another picture of my lunch date. Little Perry is THE BEST baby. And I can say that because I don't live with him.

2009-11-04T13:07:00.002-05:00

My lunch date today is THE best cure for the Wednesday blahs.

I think I have to kill my boss ... or Please bathe me in Lysol

2009-11-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday Boss calls in to the office to tell me he won't be in because he's sick and has a fever. To this, I reply, "Okay. Please stay there. Oh, and hope you get better soon."

I'm fully expectant he won't be in today either. But what do my wondering eyes see? Boss comes in waving a piece of paper around in the air saying, "I'm done." What? "I'm done." I also note he's in jeans and a sweatshirt. Coupled with the "I'm done" statement, I am now thinking I am going to have a new boss because he has been summarily let go. Has he been laid off? Not possible in this business. Fired? He hasn't screwed anything up, to my knowledge. Quit? It's definitely a possibility, but I think I would have some advanced notice of that was going down. Little did I know exactly how nefarious that statement would be to me.

When asked for clarification on the "I'm done" statement, Boss reveals he most likely has SWINE FLU.

* Image from here

Is he nuts? Does he know what he has done? I only have so much hand sanitizer on my desk. I certainly don't have enough to baste my entire being with, much less wipe down every surface in our shared space. I have no Lysol on hand, either. What to do? Why is he here? He said he had to locate some paperwork. ACCCKK! Boss could have called me. I would gladly have looked for said paperwork and left it out somewhere for him ... like in his parking space. Then, I know I wouldn't have to possibly come into contact with piggy germs that are probably right now gathering into formation in the air duct above my head. I can hear their little microbial feet marching, the leader calling cadence just waiting for the attck signal.

Why? Why me? I was just sitting here, minding my own business and WHAM! I am subjected to a dastardly communicable disease for which I have not been immunized because I am not a member of a "high-risk" group. Yay for me. I shall now sit here and look up schematics for a hyperbaric chamber to seal myself off from the rest of the world, 'cause if I don't get the H1N1 out of this, no one else is getting the chance to infect me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Sam's to find the largest can of disenfectant I can find ...

Happy Birthday, Sissy!

2009-11-02T06:05:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it, but my baby is 16 years old today.

It seems like just yesterday you were too impatient to wait for the doctor, waiting just long enough for him to run in the room and catch you. Growing up, you've always been the one to march to her own theme song (Deet deet deet doo doot deet deet). Over the years, we've watched you go from sitting on the stage staring at your feet, arms crossed while everyone else danced around you at your first recital to starring in a one act play in an Advanced Drama class.

I hope in the years to come, you start to understand all of the decisions we as parents have made. It has been our hope all along that you grow into a kind, considerate, loving person. Please keep this in mind on the days we make decisions with which you don't agree. So far, I think we've done a pretty good job.

So, on this most important milestone in your life, I hope everything goes your way, your theme song wins an Emmy and you keep striving to not be the girl on the floor, staring at her toes while everyone else dances around you. We love you and hope you have a Happy 16th Birthday.

Happy Halloween, y'all!

2009-10-30T23:59:00.001-04:00

*Photo "ghouled up" courtesy of Picnik

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

My Two Year Wreckiversary or "Food Could Have Saved Me" Night

2009-10-26T00:01:00.002-04:00

*** CAUTION: GRAPHIC PHOTOS *** CAUTION: GRAPHIC PHOTOS ***

*Before you start, this is going to be a long one. Click on any photos to embiggen

** UPDATED**

This is what I see every night when I close my eyes:

Two years ago today, my life was irrevocably changed forever.

Marv and I were going to be working all weekend and even though Scootie and Sissy were perfectly capable of staying home by themselves, I didn't want them to have to sit in front of the t.v. and be bored. So, Sister L said they could come over and hang out with her, my BIL Scott-dot and their Grandpa. Marv had already been working all day after having worked his regular job and was headed home for some sleep before going back out again the next morning. The kids and I went to leave the house and for some reason, instead of getting in my assigned (by Marv) vehicle, we jumped into the nice, much newer Ford F150 (you know, the one we were still paying for that had all the bells and whistles, not to mention 4-doors and a full backseat).

Sister L and BIL Scott-dot live about 13 miles from our old house. Just a hop, skip and a jump. I was in a ratty old t-shirt, sweats and flip-flops because I was going right back home to try to get some sleep myself. I dropped off the kids, hung out for a few minutes talking to the family, telling the kids to behave, yada yada yada. They invited me to stay and have some dinner, but I told them I needed to head home because tomorrow was going to be a long day. I should have stayed.

Less than five minutes after I left their house, less than three miles away from where I had just left two of the most important people in my life ( and three that come in a close second), I thought mine was about to end. The road I was traveling on has a speed limit of 45-mph. I had the radio on, but just for a little background. There were a few cars behind me, but not too close. I was probably about 300-yards from "THE CURVE." We all have one of "those" roads where we drive just a little extra-careful. This was my road. I noticed approaching headlights coming around the curve, knowing they were attached to some heavy machinery. "Hmmm. That car looks like it's going a little fast." The next series of events took seconds, but seemed like they were in slow motion. The swiftly (too swiftly, it turns out) moving vehicle came around "the curve" waaaay too fast, on my side of the road, and did exactly what those pesky driving instructors tell you not to do. The driver over-corrected. This promptly sent the vehicle veering (at a high rate of speed) to the shoulder of the road. Again, over-correction. I am observing all of this and have started to slow my speed because I know the driver is probably going to over-correct again when they hit the dirt on the shoulder. Fast-moving tires, dirt, gravel and fear do not mix well. I'm still slowing, moving over onto my shoulder of the road, trying to give the driver room to manuever, hoping they can get the vehicle under control. My heart is racing, I'm checking my rearview mirror to make sure the people behind me are slowing, seeing what's happening. The driver corrects again and the vehicle darts back up onto the road, still going so much faster than the posted speed limit and I'm thinking to myself, "Why don't they hit the brakes? Why aren't they slowing down?" By this time, I am almost completely off the road and the other vehicle has swerved back onto the road, but is going back and forth in a crazy zig-zag motion and then ....

All I could see were headlights. It was almost like the driver just said, "screw it," and let go of the wheel. The vehicle took an abrupt left turn and came straight at me. I was pretty much off the road by then, but still slowly moving forward. There was no squealing of brakes, no smoke clouds rising up like you see in the movies. Just headlights.

The impact was at the left front and the trajectory of the resulting waves was right into the driver's area.

At the scene

At the wrecker yard, in daylight

Just before the impact (literally when the car was about five feet away), I did what anyone would have done instintively. I shied away from it, drawing my left side up and away from what I knew was coming. "They" always say, if you're going to be in an accident, don't hold onto the steering wheel (if you're driving) or brace yourself. Yeah, right. I was holding onto the steering wheel (because I was driving) and my right foot instintively went to the brake pedal. The floorboard crinkled like a Ruffle's potato chip.

That red arrow is pointing to my flip-flop. No doubt my foot was on the brake pedal.

Everything went really quiet. Then, I must admit, I screamed. Twice. I was knocked sideways into the middle console from not only the impact, but also from the airbag deployment. I have always heard airbag horror stories about people's faces, chests, ribs, being broken upon deployment. As I am vertically challenged, I was so happy with the adjustable pedals on the F150. It allowed me to be able to move the seat back so I wasn't five inches away from the steering wheel. Soon after my last scream, I did an evaluation, telling myself I wasn't dead and that was good. I look down at my hands (why do we always do that?) and notice my left arm is looking a little like an "s". "That's not right." I noticed everything on the vehicle shut down. There was nothing working ... except the radio. The satellite tuner had been plugged in and it was on something like "top 20" whatever. But I looked over and the tuner had come unplugged and the radio had tuned to another station. It was a sermon. Did I mention that EVERYTHING ELSE electrical in the vehicle was not operational? No lights, I couldn't roll down the windows, nothing. Weird. But wait, I smell smoke. I smell burning. I don't want to burn, I don't want to burn. I see shadows outside the vehicle, so I start yelling at someone to please open the doors. Open the door. Open the door. I don't want to burn.

A good samaritan, one of several, yanked and yanked on the door until he could get it open. Finally. I was able to get fresh air. I then realized it was not smoke or fire, but the chemicals from the airbag. There were several people outside the vehicle and I could tell there were others over near the other vehicle. I kept asking if the other driver was okay, but no one would tell me anything. "Don't worry about him." I thought he was dead and they just didn't want to tell me. Someone had called 911 and they were asking about injuries. I showed her my arm and told her I couldn't feel my feet. Help was on the way. I was trying not to lose it, asking about the other driver. No one would tell me anything.

One of the ladies on the scene went around and got in the backseat to talk to me and help me stay calm. Turns out she was the attendance lady at Scootie's high school. They asked me if there was anyone they should call. I told them to contact Marv. The 911 personnel kept trying to call Marv, but he had just fallen to sleep. Anyone who knows Marv knows he does not like to be disturbed after he's fallen asleep, especially after having worked a double. Marv ignored the phone as long as he could before snatching it up. "Katie's been in an accident." Now, this was not an unusual car for Marv to get. You see, I seem to be a magnet. People LOVE to run into me, though usually it's minor. A fender-bender, if you will. Did you remember I was driving the nice, new truck? Yeah.

Emergency crews began to arrive. I was trying to stay calm. I knew these people. Well, I know them, but I don't KNOW know them. You know? People are shining lights in my eyes. "Did you pass out?" "Did you hit your head?" "What hurts?" There's people everywhere, I'm stressing, I'm still trying to find out about the other driver. I just know he's dead. Then, I hear a voice I recognize. It's our friend, Maximum Justice. He lives right down the road from the accident scene and knew he could get there before Marv. I still don't know how he heard about the accident. At that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay. I could breathe. Someone I KNEW was here with me. I have told him before (several times, in fact) but MJ will never know how much it meant to me for him to be there. MJ finally told me the other driver was okay but did have some injuries (he had a broken femur and some type of injury to his collarbone). I kept looking for Marv, but I couldn't see him. I didn't hear him. Turns out, as Marv was headed to the crash scene, he was almost involved in a head-on collision when a motorcycle crossed the center-line into his lane.

The rescue personnel pulled me out of the vehicle and placed me on a backboard. If you've never experienced this, and I hope you don't, you'll have the WORST headache before they get you off the thing. Anyway, as they're about to load me into the ambulance, I finally see Marv. The first thing I said was "It wasn't my fault," but I think he figured that out. Did I mention Nascar was in town? No? Well, it was. I didn't get one of the nice, new, high-dollar ambulances. Oh, no. I was loaded into a "back-up." All the good ambulances were at high-volume stations or at the track. Yay! When you have a back-up ambulance, it is not as well-stocked as one that is used every day.

So, I'm in the back of the ambulance and I hear things like "fracture", "compound fracture", "laceration", etc. I realize they are talking about me. I mean, I know my arm was messed up, but I had no clue. I also hear Marv about to argue with the ambulance personnel. They are trying to refuse to let him ride with me saying there won't be room for him with me on a stretcher and two of them in back. Let's just say Marv won that argument. The AmbuBoys start pulling out wraps and gauze and lines for an i.v. I told them I had very small veins (why can't the rest of me fall in line with that?) and they would need to use a butterfly needle. Back-up ambulance, remember. No butterfly needles. They then proceed to stick me in the right arm (the only appendage I have that does not have any trauma) about 15 times trying to get a vein. No luck. Then it's on to the back of the hand, about five or six times. No luck. They finally are able to get a doctor on the radio to request a stop-over at the local hospital (I have to go to the big ATL to a trauma center) to stabilize me and then fly me to Atlanta Medical. Doc, of course, says no can do. They are full up and by the time they do all that they could have me at AMC. Oh, did I mention there's a rookie driving? Hitting every pothole? I forgot that part? So sorry. It's SUCH an integral part of the story because as everyone knows, if they can't get an i.v., you get no fluids and NO PAIN MEDICINE. The whole time I have two AmbuBoys and Marv looking at me and talking about how they would be screaming. I still didn't know at this point exactly what was wrong. I was just trying not to cry and scream my head off. I think I definitely surprised Marv, but I know I surprised myself. I just kept telling myself it could have been a whole lot worse. And, I remembered everything my Auntie BJ had gone through years ago when she was hit by a woman who ran a stop sign. My Auntie BJ was so brave and fought through so much. I knew I had to try to be half as strong as she was during her recovery. After everything they had tried, and kept trying, the AmbuBoys finally got approval for a direct shot of some morphine to "take the edge off" ... when we were getting off the exit ramp in the ATL. Did I mention potholes before? ATL is built on potholes. Yay!

I have to say, I was still doing pretty well ... until I got in the trauma room. Those places are CRAZY! I had people yelling, yanking on me, moving me from the stretcher to a trauma bed. A nurse climbed on top of me and got right in my face. All I could see were her eyes and a blue mask and she's asking so many questions. "Did you hit your head?" "Did you lose consciousness?" "Do you have any pain in your abdomen?" And on and on and on. The AmbuBoys are shouting out numbers and all the trauma personnel are asking why there's no lines. Marv is being shuffled down the hall and I lose sight of him. I'm doing okay, but I'm starting to panic. There's too much going on and I can't see anything except this person in my face and then ... AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Someone has taken their fingers and stuck them inside the open wound on my right calf (from an apparent compound fracture). Totally unexpected and it BURNS. Someone has taken a fire poker and stuck it in my leg. I couldn't help screaming. Everyone around me starts screaming. I hear someone yelling at whatever jerk did this not to touch me again. "No one touch her again until we can get some meds in her!" Turns out it was an intern and this particular intern apparently had a hearing problem because next thing I know, someone is taking my left foot and rotating it and STICKING THEIR FINGER IN THE OPEN WOUND!" AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! More yelling, the doctor throwing someone out of the room and threatening everyone if they touch me again. I'm APOLOGIZING to Mask Face because I yelled. I just wasn't expecting it. Then, I'm out. Apparently, this is the point where they stuck a FIVE INCH LONG WIRE into my neck, directly to my heart because they couldn't get a line anywhere else. One working appendage, no good veins, no good for me.

Meanwhile, the ER waiting room is filling up. I can't tell you to this day who all was there waiting with Marv. I just know we have a bunch of great friends. They stayed with Marv and my sisters and my dad and took care of them while they were waiting on news about me. From what I understand, they took me into surgery right away, but only to stabilize me. The serious stuff would come later. I had a fracture of the left fifth metatarsal (the bone on the outside of your foot), a compound fracture of the right tibia and fibula, fractures of the cuneiforms in the right foot (the bones on the top of your foot) and fractures of the left radius and ulna. I was a mess, but it could have been worse. I was in the ICU for 5 or 6 days and had several surgeries, one to alleviate what they call compartment syndrome in the right foot (the blood goes in, but doesn't want to come out). I don't remember much about those days, but I do recall Cousin Mark coming in to check on me (he is a respiratory therapist at AMC) and Aunt Jean coming by one day. The rest, a blur. Apparently, someone decided it would be a good idea to put a phone next to me. I immediately called Marv (who was and had been in the waiting room for days) asking why he hadn't come to visit me. They took the phone away from me after that. Marv thought it was funny.

After the ICU, I had more days in the hospital. I had to learn how to do things with one arm and nothing else. That was fun. I have to tell you, it is quite humbling having to ask for help. Me being so stubborn and private, it was particularly hard. I've never been one for public displays of affection, or sharing information about personal habits. Trust me. Things got personal. That's all I'm saying. Sister L, who was job hunting at the time, stayed with me a good bit, alternating with Marv. I had a good many visitors including my cousin Nick (and cousin Sarah-A and their parents Little Ruth and "Shoulda Been My Brother" Scott) who said he never wanted to drive after visiting, my boss, my MIL Gwen. Aunt Sue and Uncle Wallace. Niece came by and brought me a home made bowl in UGA colors filled with treats because I missed Halloween. I know it pained her to make it. She's delusional sometimes and thinks Tech is better.

We had to figure out what we were going to do with me when I was released from the hospital. Where was I going to stay (our house couldn't accomdate a wheelchair), who was going to take care of me, who was going to take me to doctor appointments, etc. I had one more surgery, and then I could go. I had a filter put in to help prevent any blood clots going to my brain, which I thought was nice of them to give me. It looks like a littel upside down umbrella, just floating there in my artery. So special. But then I couldn't stop worrying about getting blood clots.

The first car ride home was traumatic. Not because Sister L was driving, as some might believe. It was just the first time I had been in or around a vehicle since the accident. I had my eyes closed the whole time, but was still panicked. Auto collision victim + ATL traffic = vomit inducing panic. But, I made it home (to Sister L, BIL Scott-dot and Dad's home). Then we began the "dance." How to get me out of the car, into the wheelchair and into the house. It helps to have pants with a slick butt and a board. We did it, finally and the "real" healing process began.

I won't go into all those details, but the days and nights ran together. Sister L became a nurse overnight (no long study hours needed!), Marv worked at night, taking care of the kids and came over during the day before starting all over again. Sister D was there, too, in between work. My first night home, Mom and Auntie BJ brought by supplies for the long haul. Movies, gowns and pj's that would go over all my bandages. Dad and BIL Scott-dot hooked up a t.v. Even though I was still drugged up and unable to concentrate, I was able to catch the Georgia game that day. I left a drunken birthday message for Auntie BJ. She still has it on her answering machine to this day. At least I remembered, right? After that, it was Food Network 24/7. We figured out how to get me from the wheelchair to the bed to the toilet (thanks for sharing, right?) and back to the bed. Our friends Brian, Trisha and Meghan-Meghan came by to visit. I was worried little Meghan was going to be upset, but she just came over to me like she always does and gave me a big hug. This is when I found out Brian had been on his way home from work that evening, saw the truck as he passed the accident scene and then realized it was ours. NOT the best way to find out your friend has been in an accident.

After a few days, I was finally able to give my statement to Officer Randy. Even though I see it every night when I close my eyes, it's still difficult reliving it. I remembered every detail. I couldn't forget it. The driver of the other vehicle was an 18 year old boy who claimed his throttle stuck. He was going between 60-70-mph on that 45-mph road. Notice, I said "claimed." Over the course of the investigation, investigators from the police department and my insurance company would have to spend a lot of time and money disproving this claim. All because this boy was over at a house he wasn't supposed to be visiting and his mother had caught him. The person he ws visiting even told him when he was leaving not to drive fast. This is the part I don't understand. If you're already caught, why are going to try and rush home? The case finally ended a few months ago with him pleading guilty to a felony charge of serious bodily injury (tell me about it). We decided instead of jail time he would perform a boatload of community service, but he would have to do this service with accident victims. I'm told he entered an "official apology" onto the record, but I wouldn't know. I was at home recovering from another surgery I had the previous day. To this day, I have not received any kind of apology. No call, no note, nothing. I MISSED MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY BECAUSE OF YOU, JERK! THAT is what angered me the most. I've NEVER missed one of my children's birthdays. NEVER.

I was hoping when this day came around, I would be "back to normal", whatever that may be. Unfortunately, that is not the case. After my last surgery in my arm when they removed one of the plates and the attached screws, it was discovered my radius had grown back in an hourglass shape (again, why can't the rest of me fall in line?) and was very weak. It will never grown back to the normal size. It was always be prone to breakage. My doctor's advice? "If you start to fall, fall to the right." As for my foot/leg combo, it too is as good as it's going to get, which sucks. After my last surgery, where they removed the bottom screws from my rod, removed a nerve from mid-calf to mid foot, shaved the top of my foot and inserted two more plates with screws on the top of my foot, I still walk with a limp and have constant pain. I have some circulation issues which causes my leg to go numb and my feet to feel like they're freezing. When they first inserted the rod in my leg, they had to go through the tendon in my knee. That now is filled with scar tissue, causing constant pain and weakness in the knee. I was told if they went in to attempt to remove the scar tissue it would just cause more damage. Oh, and my doctor said I would be having more problems in a few years with the plates in my foot and would most likely have to have more surgery. Yay! Again, no apology.

If you've made it this far, I know you're thinking this has been the longest post ever. But I just wanted to put it out there. Sometimes, you get asked politely, "How are you doing?" But most times, I've found, people just want you to say, "I'm doing okay." So most days that's what I say. But most days I'm not. I know there are people who are dealing with things much worse than my problems. I know that. But some days, I'm just not having a good day. I've only broken down twice. The first was a few days after I came home from the hospital. I was tired, hurting, frustated and angry (Turns out, the next moring at about 4am I woke up with a kidney stone). I waited until I was alone in my room with Marv and I just started bawling. I didn't want the kids to see me that way. I cried it out and let it go.

I am so thankful for all of our families, friends and co-workers. I am thankful for everyone I work with that donated time to me so I wouldn't have to worry about losing my job. I'm thankful for the friends I used to work with that tried to donate time, too. I received donations from people whom I've never met. Family members cooked meals, brought movies, helped with my Scootie and Sissy. My Auntie BJ who religiously took me to therapy and then on "field trips" so I wouldn't go stir crazy and o.d. on Food Network. My Sister D who took me to my office for a Thanksgiving meal. I would like to thank Ford Motor Company. Had I not been in the F150 that evening, I would not be here. How weird am I that I though about writing a thank you note to Ford? I just wish I had been able to get a new truck. Man, I liked that truck.

When I was wheeled into the family Thanksgiving, I just started bawling. I was so grateful I was there. I love my family. I don't know what I would do without them. I really don't know what I would have done if Marv's family hadn't been there to carry me, wheelchair and all, up the stairs. I know they were thankful at Christmas I was using a walker.

And my Scootie and Sissy. They were the best. I hated that they had to see me in the ICU with all the wires and tubes but you never know what will happen. They took it all in stride and did the best they could. They have done so much for me and still do. They only get mad when I tell them I don't want them "running up and down the roads." They've both had to wait to get their driver's permits. I just didn't feel they were ready. They don't agree. We battle. I usually win. I just want them to understand how hard it can be as a parent. I don't want one of my kids to cause something like this to happen. I know it's unreasonable. I know adults cause accidents, too. I'm just going to stay unreasonable.

If you've read through the whole thing, I thank you. I know I've left a lot out, but I could go on and on about all of the people who have helped me. You'd be here for days. In the end, I've made progress. I'll never be "as good as new." Not even close. But I'm lucky. I know that. Some days it just sucks though, especially when you can't wear cute shoes.

I know you're sitting there thinking, "I thought you said there were graphic photo's?" Well, there are. Here are some before and after shots. Oh, and one more thing. If you haven't ever seen my scars, the first time you do, please don't say, "Oh, man, your foot IS a mess. I know you were in an accident, but I've never seen the scars." Thanks. If you don't want to see them, quit here.

The black part? The INSIDE of my foot. Compartment Syndrome. Drainage tubes. Yay!

My foot in Saran Wrap to keep out germs.

I DO NOT remember this. The bruise is from being slammed into the console. The tubes in the side of my neck, you ask? A "pick" line going directly to MY HEART. Let's keep the germs out of there, too.

The inside of my forearm. After the 2nd surgery, it was extended in both directions. Yay!

A matching set! The outside of my forearm.

That lovely little device is what holds the middle of your foot together when it blows up...until it decides to sink into your foot.

Notice the pre-accident toenail polish

scars, scars for everyone!

*Turns out, my email server is down so I can't get to the photos of what my arm and foot look like today. Just imagine the scars above longer and more pronounced, especially on the foot. So lovely. The top of my foot looks like a map to nowhere when they had crappy equipment to make roads and no one cared if they were straight. Oh, and it looks like I'm smuggling two squares of a Hershey's bar under the skin on top of my foot. Nice image, huh?

** Finally got the pictures off my server.

Forearm. And yes, after two years and multiple surgeries it IS that swollen.

Again, swollen.

See the Hershey Bar hump? And THAT is an improvement.

One more quick note: I had received a roll of Christmas gift wrap THAT I BOUGHT FOR CHARITY earlier that day and it was in the back floorboard. When I asked about later, it was gone. MY CHARITY SANTA CLAUSE GIFT WRAP WAS STOLEN. I shall show you:

See?

The next day? GONE. (Pay no attention to all the other crap)

Things around the house ...

2009-10-21T06:51:00.001-04:00

I've noticed something odd lately. Things aren't going so smoothly at The Gardens. SOMEONE, who shall remain nameless MARV, has a problem. Some people might call this cantputitwhereitbelongs-itis. I just call it annoying.

People, we don't live at the Ritz where they're all fancy-schmancy and have phones in the bathroom next to the bidet. And while it is a cordless phone and you CAN take it in the bathroom, that doesn't mean you SHOULD. I won't even go into talking on the phone in the bathroom where the poor unfortunate soul on the other end of the call might hear your innermost (that just became your outermost) bodily functions. Unless it's a tele-marketer. But, if you do, can't you take it back to its home?

This next one flummoxed me. I could not conceive the reasoning behind this one. maybe you can explain it to me.

Seriously? How much effort does it take to replace the toilet paper roll? I mean, honestly. This is the point where Marv will say something like, "I couldn't replace it. I was on the phone."

In other news, it finally got below 50 degrees over the weekend, so we built a fire. SOMEONE in this house likes being warm and toasty. That's all I'm saying.

I had to resort to buying bundles of firewood 'cause SOMEONE (Marv) didn't get a truckload before the cold snap *AHHH SNAP!

Proof the zombies are after me ...

2009-10-16T06:30:00.001-04:00

How weird is it that I just noticed my post entitled "Blood Buddies" is right next to my post about zombies? Weird, coincidence or zombidence? Hmmm?

Phoofs Don't Lie

2009-10-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

So a co-worker (whose name sounds like a fruit) and I are currently engaged in an ongoing war.

It's not over office supplies, or who drank the last Pepsi ( killing offense) or even anything remotely office related. We are at war over a statement he made about one of our mutually favorite television shows.

Recap: At the end of last season on NCIS ( The original, not NCIS, Los Angeles. I'm a purist.) Ziva was left to stay behind with her father in her role as an agent for Mossad. In an aside, I don't blame Gibbs for one bit. I mean, what was she thinking hooking up with Rivkin? Especially when the sexual tension between her and Tony is so obvious. AND, Tony is funny. Rivkin? Not so much.

Anywho, when we were left in that uncomfortable cliff-hanger in the season finale, all the phoof showed us was a captive in Somalia wearing a Star of David necklace like Ziva's.

Original image borrowed from: http://ncis.wikia.com/wiki/Ziva_David

Of course, co-worker, who is OBSESSED with Ziva was distraught and went so far as to say "Ziva won't be back next season." To which I said, "pshaw." Co-worker proceeded to barrage me with internet scuttlebutt of nay-sayers who were ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN Ziva was not coming back and the show was replacing her. I, who am a TRUE FAN, responded with more intelligent come-backs like, "yeah, right" and "whatever." But, I did manage to get the last word in this first battle. Co-worker continued to spout off the "truths of the internets" and I continued to make my arguments that the producers of this show are not stupid and know what a gold-mine they have in the Ziva-Tony-Gibbs triangle (yes, I know most people think she has a Daddy complex for Gibbs, but sometimes ...). Co-worker then stated again, and I qoute, "Ziva won't be back. You watch." My winning response? "We'll see."

So, of course, after the season premiere, I was gloating. I have to admit, at first I was concerned. When the phoof came up, I thought I was going to be right. But then, BUT THEN, it was TONY in the chair, captive. And this Saleem guy starts giving Tony truth serum and Tony is all crazy thinking Ziva is dead and then ... IN WALKS ZIVA (oh, and McGee was on the floor the whole time acting all passed-out-y). HAH. ZIVA IS BACK!

This, dear readers, is when you say, okay, war over. 34milepizza wins. That's what I said! Well, co-worker comes into the office and I'm all HA! I was RIGHT! And he ... he ... TOTALLY DOES NOT GIVE IN GRACEFULLY. He starts back-pedaling, saying she's back but "she's not right."

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have been having these mini-battles for the last four weeks. Four weeks in which ZIVA was IN EVERY EPISODE and has now become a full-fledged "probie." I know her father has not given up and wants her back at Mossad, but the point is, I WAS RIGHT. Here is the mini-battle from this week as conducted through Facebook.

As you can see, he is still using the lame "but she's not right" argument. LAME-O INSANE-O (I know, how third grade is that?). Now, I shall wait in my office for said co-worker to come in today and bow down gracefully at my feet and GIVE IN. Because that's the only respectable thing to do. After all, I am the one who controls his access to his Ziva background and Ziva screensavers. MWAH HA HA HA.

I think I'd have to kill this kid ... and give the dog a bone

2009-10-09T06:23:00.000-04:00

NieNie on Oprah!

2009-10-07T06:48:00.000-04:00

NieNie is on Oprah today. I'm kicking myself that I forgot to set my DVR, but I found the story here. And the link to a video about Nie Nie's daily life here. Of course, you can always follow Nie Nie on her blog at the Nie Nie Dialogues.

I can't help it ...

2009-10-07T06:47:00.000-04:00

I have a confession ... I'm a

If you don't know what the big deal is ... go here. I LUV LUV LUV this show. Big thanks to Scootie for making my Glee flag fly.

More Zombie Stuff

2009-10-07T06:46:00.001-04:00

Here are some more photos from Scootie's weekend adventure ...

Blood Buddies

2009-10-05T16:49:00.001-04:00

Last week, I went to Atlanta Motor Speedway to donate some of my innards juice (nice, huh?) My dontation this time was in partnership with the American Red Cross and the Nascar Foundation. In return for someone getting a little something from me, I was able to get a ride around the track in a pacecar* and a bag o' swag. I encourage everyone to donate, and check out this site to see if Nascar is having a donation event in your area. I'm donating again in December. It's especially important to donate around the holidays because those are notorious shortage months. After the last two years, I have been incredibly lucky in not having to be a recipient. But, you never know. If I had needed it, someone else would have been there for me. So go out and donate, take your friends (tell 'em Edward needs them!), do some good for very little effort on your part and help save three lives every time you do!

* I didn't partake in this little event. I think when I told them I would need to drive due to control issues, they rescinded my invite.

Teddy Bears can kill you ...

2009-10-05T16:30:00.000-04:00

CUTE LITTLE BEARS FOR HUGGING

Didn't this lady know they make stuffed bears for a reason? When are people going to learn that animals meant to live in the wild should LIVE IN THE WILD?!

You're probably saying "then why do we have animals in zoos?" Theoretically, zoos are supposed to be a learning environment for the public and most of the animals in the zoos are rescued either from bad health situations, fear of extinction or because someone decided a BEAR should be a PET. NO. NO. NO.

BIG HUGE BEAR NOT FOR HUGGING

... and don't even get me started on what happened here.

I should have had a contingency plan...for zombies

2009-10-05T07:08:00.001-04:00

I should have followed along with the University of Florida and had an emergency contingency plan for an attack of the undead. Alas, I didn't really see the need...until last night when this showed up in my house:

Here's a better look at Scootie and friends:

which is much different from how Scootie and friends usually look:

Yesterday was the 4th Annual Zombie Walk in Atlanta presented by Atlanta Horror Fest. There were hundreds of Zombies walking around downtown ATL yesterday and luckily (for Woody Harrelson) it coincided with the opening of his new movie Zombieland (filmed in and around the ATL). Scootie and friends were along for the fun and Scootie ended up in the AJC. Can you imagine innocently waiting to get on the MARTA train and seeing hundreds of zombies? I think I'd have to wait for the next train.

You can see more photos here, and here.

Who IS this kid?

2009-10-02T20:47:00.000-04:00

I don't know who this girl is... She can't be MY Sissy. MY Sissy would never eat something with all those little dangly legs flopping around all over the place. MY Sissy would never dig around an appetizer plate LOOKING for only the ones with the little dangly legs. MY Sissy would never hold these over her mouth, let the little dangly legs spin around and drop it into her mouth (she was taunting me, people). Ugghhh!

I have tried over the years not to influence my kids with my lack of culinary imagination. It's strictly meat and potatoes for me folks. I've always encouraged my kids to at least try something once. If they don't like it after that, okay. At least they've tried it. But, this? Ewwww. This girl doesn't like a good, old-fashioned sloppy joe, but she'll eat calimari?! What kind of sense does that make? NONE.

Holes...

2009-10-01T07:39:00.001-04:00

In my previous post, I alluded to the hole-digging capabilities of Scootie. However, I managed to completely take up a whole huge post with pictures from the bridge-building (which was MOMENTOUS!) and didn't include any from Scootie's work. So, without further ado, here is what Scootie has assisted me (and Auntie BJ) with over the last few weeks:

Crepe Myrtles to the left and right of the drive ... sets of three (you can also see drainage correction work by Cam and Rip with the trusty bobcat)

Spider Lillies Purple Passion (or Purple Heart)

I forgot to write down the names of these plants for posting purposes, but I did make garden markers for each of them with teak stakes carved with the names using my handy-dandy Dremel. Love to Dremel! That is hands down the BEST tool ever.

Complete!

2009-10-01T06:22:00.001-04:00

I've been busy. I know. You're sitting there thinking "who ISN'T busy?" I do not corner the market on busy. I've got it. Things have been happening around the homestead. I've been planting, raking, scraping, weeding, seeding, etc. I've been working outside some now that it's beginning to cool off (thank goodness!). Last week, Auntie BJ came down with some plantings for me. I was the proud (LUCKY) recipient of gardenias, crepe myrtles and lillies. Scootie was the proud recipient of hole digging duties. Needless to say, after digging what must have seemed like 50 million holes, Scootie was covered in dirt. LITERALLY. HEAD TO FEET. Don't believe me?

Told ya. And don't be fooled. He didn't dig the fire pit. Our friends Cam and Rip came down with the bobcat and did that for us. Cam and Rip have come in handy over the last few weeks. They surprised me on Tuesday evening with the BEST. THING. EVAR. Wanna see?

Cam drilling the holes for support rods

Rip hammering home the support rods

The first plank.... 2 inch solid oak

Yes, ladies, they ARE both single...and have a bobcat...and can fix things. Sigh.

The last nail (well, except for the ones that fell in the creek!)

The REAL test ...

Sissy, of course, thinks it's a great runway...and POSE!

And this? This is the best part. THIS is a picture taken by me FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CREEK! FINALLY! I can see the back half of my property. Well, I can get to the other side of the creek. Now, Marv just has to make me a trail.

I am standing over the middle of the creek!

Thanks so much to Cam and Rip for helping us out with this project. I kept telling them how excited I was about having a bridge and being able to get across the creek, but I still don't think they understand what it means to me. Everyone else has been able to scamper across the "natural bridge" (meaning the old fallen tree) but that just wasn't an option for me. It has been very frustrating for me not to be able to do things I could before without even thinking about them. I would have been right there with the kids and Niece and Nephew scurrying across the log and exploring the other side, but I just didn't want to risk it. I'm so grateful we have family and friends who are able to help with some of my projects (some of which Marv sees no need for, but whatevs).

Scootie Should Have...

2009-09-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

If Scootie had done this with all of his Lego's (and by all, I mean fifty bajillion), I probably wouldn't have been so ticked off when I stepped on one (or eighty) in the middle of the night. Enjoy.

Barbara Walters Can Suck It!

2009-09-23T07:03:00.001-04:00

Sorry to be so rude, but that is nowhere near as rude as Barbara Walters was to Paula Deen, Food Network chef, Lady and Sons (holla, Savannah!) restauranteur and all-around good person, yesterday on The View.

Granted, childhood obesity is a problem throughout the United States. But is Paula Deen personally responsible for it? NO! I know there are health-nut people out there that totally disagree with Paula's cooking style. SO DON'T EAT IT. It's simple really.

Paula was on the show to promote her new cookbook, Paula Deen's Cookbook for the Lunch-Box Set. It gives great tips for packing good lunches for your kids, great kid-friendly recipes for the budding chef, etc. Paula is not advocating you feeding your child these foods for every meal. Any parent worth their next breath knows it is OUR responsibility to make sure our kids are eating right, but also know that allowing a treat every once in awhile is okay.

So, to recap: Paula Deen is the one of the most genuine, honest people on television (and by the way, raised two healthy, handsome, NOT FAT, men who grew up eating her food).

... and Barbara Walters is past her prime, bitter and could use a stick of butter. Bless her heart.

Things I Like...

2009-09-17T17:10:00.001-04:00

Yay! I got my Nie Nie necklace in the mail!

I was so excited to see it and I immediately put it on. When Marv asked me what it was supposed to mean, I explained about Nie Nie and that it helped me when I'm having bad days to remember that, compared to when I started, "All Is Well." I've been saying that it could have been worse from the beginning, but some days the constant pain and the scars just get to you. But I see how Nie Nie is persevering and draw strength from her seemingly never-ending strength. Like Nie Nie, I draw a lot from my family and friends who have been so amazing throughout this entire ordeal. While my struggles have been nothing compared to Nie Nie's, they're my struggles with which I have to deal. If you need a reminder that all is well in your life, go here and pick you one of these beautiful necklaces up. You can pick your own colors, but you probably already figured that out by mine being black and red (Go Dawgs!).

I was waiting for this...

2009-09-17T09:02:00.002-04:00

Happy 1st Birthday, BTK!

2009-09-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

Do you KNOW how hard it is to get a cat to wear a birthday crown? No? Let me tell you, it's ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. The only reason we were able to get this shot is because BTK was more interested in his birthday seafood feast. Poor Sissy. She worked so hard on his little crown. Of course, if the local pet store had any party hats for cats, this probably would have worked out better. But they don't carry any. HELLO. You carry fifty bajillion costumes for dogs (court jester, hot dog, etc.) but you don't have ANYTHING to celebrate a birthday?! What kind of people are you? AND, almost 90% of your store is dedicated to DOGS. You have one meager little shelf of craptastic cat stuff and everything else is for dogs. Don't get me wrong, I like dogs. But BTK is not a dog. As we were leaving, I made the comment to Sissy that "apparently, BTK should have been born a dog." Thank goodness BTK didn't hear me.

So, Happy 1st Birthday to BTK and his brother Big Stuff who lives with Niece and Nephew. I have also posted evidentiary photos of exactly how hard it is to get BTK to wear a birthday crown and hold still for pictures*. And how weird are we for singing Happy Birthday to a cat?

* No BTK's were harmed in the taking of these photos (even though it looks like he's being choked!) Do you see the evil eye he's giving us? NOT HAPPY!

Complete!

2009-09-15T15:23:00.000-04:00

Our first offical project as homeowners is complete! And, I might say, I think it is the most important one.

Behold the beauty:

Needless to say, RTD is not as excited as I am. He wholly enjoyed being in the A/C. What did he hate? Being in an air crate IN MY KITCHEN (okay, it was in the breakfast area but technically IN MY KITCHEN) smelling people food and having BTK taunt him by flaunting his freedom to roam about the house.

And, I think RTD would argue my "complete" is an erroneous title (yes, he uses big words. He is Marv's dog, after all). I think he would prefer HIS HUMAN PUT A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. Or, at least, that's what he implied to me. I could be mistaken.

How To Become A Pirate in One Easy Step

2009-09-15T15:11:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend, Sister D and I took the kiddles to a local state park for some picture taking. Lots of fun was had, some great pictures were taken, I ran in to a former co-worker and then, just like that, it was over.

While we were out having fun, my BIL J-Daddy became a pirate. How, you ask? It's simple:

You take one bungee cord (that has apparently been used one too many times), one goodwill gesture to help a co-worker (even though you were on your way out the door) and one unprotected eyeball (well, two eyeballs because otherwise that would be awkward - but only use one). Now, try to use that bungee cord one more time (to be fair J-Daddy didn't know it had apparently used up its very existence on this earth).

Kapow! Take a bungee cord hook right to the eye! Instant pirate. Ta-da!

See? It's like a vacation!

The rest of the weekend was like an exotic vacation only Sister D and Nephew ended up at a trauma hospital ER in downtown ATL with sticky seats and no George Clooney.

"You know all those breaking news stories where they say the victims and/or the suspects were taken to insert hospital name here and they say they have reporters live at the scene? WE WERE LIVE AT THE SCENE. And I've bleached our shoes twice since we've been home. And I think I'm burning our clothes."

My BIL is doing as well as can be expected for someone who can't bend over, has to sleep upright, etc. SO THE BLOOD DOESN'T DRAIN OUT OF HIS EYE.

So that was pretty much my weekend. To take your mind off of the whole "blood draining out of the eye thing", I'll post some pics of the kids who were happily posing while their dad/uncle was getting his eyeball poked.

The girls at their best. The boys...being the boys

This is Niece's best "rock face"

This is what most of the day looked like...

When I have "permission" from Sister D, I'll post some of the pictures that were the real reason we were at the park.

09/09/09 09:09:09

2009-09-09T09:09:00.001-04:00

Meh. What's the big deal?

Saving Elton John's Underwear

2009-09-08T07:00:00.002-04:00

While we were watching Hoarder's on A&E last night, Marv commented he didn't know there was such a thing as an "organizer".

Me: How did you not know there was such a thing as an organizer? There are people that shop for other people as a living.

Marv: I've dealt with those types of people. I've never dealt with an "organizer".

Me: When have you dealt with a personal shopper? You mean you called somebody up and told them "I need this" and they went out and found it for you?

Marv: No, but when I was working security for Rich's (now Macy's) at Lenox Mall during Freaknik and Elton John needed his Calvin Klein underwear, his PERSONAL SHOPPER came over and bought some and I had to guard it until his bodyguard came to pick it up.

And THAT is how Marv knows what size underwear Elton John wears.

If I ever do this, shoot me...

2009-09-07T21:19:00.000-04:00

Uggghhhh! I CANNOT believe these people. I know it's a sickness, but tonight's episode is making people vomit. LITERALLY!

Scootie Made Me An International Trafficker (ALLEGEDLY)

2009-09-07T21:14:00.001-04:00

Scootie decided he wanted to go to Chick-fil-A for a free sandwich and asked me if I wanted anything. I wasn't feeling the chicken thing, so I picked something else in close proximity. Unfortunately, due to my not wanting a piece of chicken with two pickles, Scootie has now made me part of what could end up being an international narcotics-trafficking, money-laundering ring. Even though we had a whole conversation about this very subject before he left.

Me: It's really a shame that La Parilla has the best cheese dip.

Scootie: Why?

M (and Marv): Because they're criminals. (We tell the whole story, then...) I guess if you use cash, it would be okay.

Did he use cash? I think you can figure the answer. He said I never told him SPECIFICALLY to GO GET cash to use. So now the Secret Service is going to be knocking on my door. Is there a good side to this? If I can blame me not having any money on this and demand my 50 MILLION DOLLARS be returned, yes.

Things I didn't blog about this past week...

2009-09-07T12:00:00.003-04:00

1. Our Ya-Ya Night: The sisters and I went to dinner and a movie to see The Ugly Truth. Gerard Butler...yummy. Though I did like him better (or rather, his physique) in 300.

This is what Mega-Nothing looks like

2. I didn't win $325 million dollars: Between dinner and the movie, we all broke down and bought lottery tickets because, surely, it was our turn. Sister L attempted to snatch my ticket from my hand, even though she SAID she was just going for the pen I was holding. RIGHT. Sister D stated she needed to win so she could "buy Chase and fire their a*s!" Sister L then stated we needed to "come to an agreement right now that if one of us wins, we all split it equally."

CAUTION: Sticky substances

3. Something horrible happened at the theater: this was evidenced by the "CAUTION" tape strung from the top of the theater to the bottom right down the middle. Were we not supposed to talk to anyone on the other side? Were they not supposed to talk to us? Were we even supposed to be there? We didn't know, but it didn't stop us from watching the movie. I paid $7.50 to watch the thing, no dastardly deed was keeping me from enjoying the show. Turns out, they had cleaned the seats earlier and some of them were still damp.

4. The USPS is still ticking me off. To date, we have received only (2) pieces of forwarded mail. But, despite this I had to go to hell the post office to purchase stamps and mail some invites. When I arrived (before the lunch crowd), there were (2) employees in the whole place and three people in line. There was a customer at the counter mailing off what seemed to be every item from her home in individual boxes that was taking forever. When the post office employee that was helping her finished and the customer was on her way, the employee walks through a door and disappears ... without the boxes. So, it's not like she was actually putting those boxes in line to go out. She just DISAPPEARED. By now, there are about 10 people in line behind me. The missing employee finally returns and then the other guy DISAPPEARS. Are you kidding me? Is there some secret portal back there? Are they really robots (evidenced by the complete lack of emotion on either of their faces) and they have to go into this secret room to recharge (download all our personal information, DNA, etc.) after each contact with a humanoid? Uggh. When I finally get to the counter, I ask for 60 stamps and you would think I had asked for her first-born. In my defense, I did attempt to purchase my stamps from the automated machine. BUT, this machine only allows you to buy priority and express mail stamps. You know, the EXPENSIVE ones. I guess they are hoping you'll get frustrated and buy these just to get out of the place. The entire process took me 45 MINUTES. I DO NOT HEART YOU, USPS!

5. And last, but certainly not least, Scootie got his date for "shipping out" to boot camp. November 24. Yep, two days before Thanksgiving. I am now planning a going away party, ThankChristmas and regular Thanksgiving while trying not to think about my baby being away from home for the first time ever.

P.S.: I DO NOT HEART YOU USPS, PART DEAUX: Some of you may not know this, but you can change the address for your driver's license online, for free. The catch? The DDS (Dept. of Driver's Services) links up it's satellites in space with those of the USPS to confirm your address has changed. Can you guess where this is going? Yep. Marv got a notice that his address change request on his license has been rejected due to the USPS not having his new address on file..FROM JULY. I am still waiting to see what happens with mine.

Study Buddies

2009-08-29T08:00:00.001-04:00

Sissy and her study buddy BTK are JEAN-EE-USES! In an earlier post, I explained that Sissy would be in a Chemistry class that is actually for Juniors. Yesterday, Sissy got her first Chem test back. Sissy was a little anxious about this test, because the teacher had said it would be extremely hard. When the students entered the classroom, they saw the overall results for all of the Chem classes on the ~~chalk~~ dry-erase board (I know I just dated myself). Only FIVE students from ALL SEVEN CLASSES made an "A". Only ONE student from Sissy's class PASSED. Not made an "A", PASSED. Sissy did the "death march" up to the front of the class to receive her verdict. She was the last one called. When Sissy turned around, all the other students were blinded by the smile on her face. Know why?

Things I Like

2009-08-26T21:58:00.010-04:00

In my previous post here, I said I would post a pic of my favorite capri pants. They are from Coldwater Creek and are some of the most comfortable pants I have ever had. I could easily spend my entire paycheck in this store. Well, half. The other half would be spent in Charming Charlie, a great accessory store. Sissy, Sister D, Niece and I (Sister L has too much school work) will be making a trip to Charming Charlie Saturday. Good thing it's payday.

pants from Coldwater Creek, shoes from Charming Charlie, bow tie from Carrot & Gibbs (Okay, people. NO, I did not wear the bow tie. Marv was made to wear this bow tie to match my shoes. He WAS going to wear a bulldog bow tie, or turkey bowtie. I think I made the right choice, don't you?

I know the details are a little hard to see, but they are sooo cute. The shoes were a great find. Charming Charlie has some of the BEST prices around for "play" jewels. I am so glad I found this store. Sissy is REALLY glad I found this store since she usually gets (takes) anything I buy. Someday soon, I hope to buy some of their cute heels (one can always hope). The best part about the whole store? Everything is color coordinated. All the yellow accessories together, all the orange, etc. Super fantastic for those with OCD issues.

Intertwined bracelets from Charming Charlie

This ring practically covers my entire finger, but is too fun. Also from Charming Charlie.

Seriously?

2009-08-26T21:25:00.001-04:00

When y'all were in your planning meeting for this event, where was THAT GUY that should have said, "Hey, maybe we should re-think the name of this thing" ? Seriously? Taste of Girl Scouts? WHO thought this was a good idea?

My friend Marty

2009-08-25T22:18:00.006-04:00

My friend Marty (MFM) is going to kill me for posting about him, I just know it. But, he's in Kentucky and I'm in Georgia so I figure I can get a head start and he won't be able to catch me. I talked to Marty this afternoon after not hearing from him FOREVER. Okay, so I know my phone does dial out. I'll take responsibility for my part in the lack of communication.

So, Marty is living the good life up in the big town of Hartford, otherwise known as Nowhereville 2. Or should he be in Nowhereville and I be in Nowhereville 2 since he moved to his place first? No matter. it's my blog, so he gets Nowhereville 2. I took a trip up to see Marty quite some time ago when I THOUGHT I was ready. My foot/leg/arm had something to say about that. Okay, something to scream about that little trip. Needless to say, I had to cut the trip short and head back home before I was ready.

MFM has a great place with open space as far as the eye can see with a great house his grandparents used to live in that he has lovingly updated and cared for over the last few years. When I arrived, we just sat on the back porch and talked and caught up since he had last made the trip down. There was no traffic, no planes overhead, no noisy neighbors, just ... peace. MFM took me around the property on his 4-wheeler because I couldn't handle one on my own. And we won't even mention that my wallet fell out of my pocket at some point and we had to backtrack FOREVER to try and find the thing. No, we won't mention that.

Then, MFM made the biggest mistake of his LIFE!

He let me tool around town in this. Whoo whee! Can you say FUN?! I tried to get him to let me drive it back home but he wouldn't go for that. I have NO CLUE why. So, after I got to drive for a bit, MFM took over at the wheel and showed me around the big metropolises (metropoli?) of Hartford and Beaver Dam, KY. I'm telling you, the outskirts of these places are truly God's country. Green as far as the eye can see. Beautiful. I snapped a few shots of things that caught my eye and I've attached them below. I hope to go back soon and take the kids this time.

The backyard

Some of the wildflowers in MFM's "yard"

"Welcome to Hartford, KY: Home of 2000 Happy People & A Few Soreheads"

Random Old Store

Tobacco Drying House

The Town Jail (Seriously? Seriously.)

And finally, I saw this on the way home. I have no idea WHAT he is doing to this horse and I don't think I want to know. This horse? In the parking lot of a liquor store. There's no reference to horses in the name of this store in any way, shape or form. The town? No reference to any horse. I HAVE NO IDEA.

Love is a battlefield and I'm (nearly) pantsless

2009-08-24T07:44:00.008-04:00

A wise woman once said "Love is a Battlefield" and I believe her.

Our friends Mikey D. and Brandi K. tied the knot this weekend at an historical battlefield (or so said the County Commission when they paid over 8 MILLION dollars for the place). When I first heard they were getting married on a battlefield, in August, in GEORGIA, where it's 98 degrees AFTER the sun goes down, I thought I would treat it like a spa day. You know, humidity + heat = sauna. See, that's a positive. Well, the nuptials took place at 6:30, in the shade (who knew there would be shade on a battlefield?) and there was a great breeze. Turns out these kids knew what they were doing all along.

The actual vows were short, sweet and to the point. The bride had jokes. When it came time for the exchange, all of the bridesmaids had the most gaudy, tacky (fake) rings you can imagine. All the men in attendance at the ceremony were so jealous when they saw the real ring. It was a titanium band with a camouflage insert. After the ceremony, we all retired to the "barn" for the reception. The tables were decorated with Mason jar centerpieces full of colorful Gerber daisies, tied with raffia bows. There were also smaller Mason jars with boiled peanuts to eat and for ambient lighting, Mason jars filled 3/4 with roasted peanuts topped with a tea light. Gorgeous and simple. In the picture below, you can see our "take-aways". That's right. Camo koozies "to have and to hold and to keep your beer cold." The back has the bride and groom's names and the date. Too cool. Haha ... "too cool" ... koozies ... get it? Notice mine is holding the cocaine of the South, Coca Cola. Dinner was catered by these local folks. Instead of the traditional "nobody ever eats enough of these things to warrant the cost" wedding cake, the happy couple had a top round tier to cut and the rest of the "layers" were cupcakes, mini pecan pies and ... wait for it ... Krispy Kreme donuts. Just take it and apply it directly to my hips, please. You know I didn't pass one up. I'd be kicked out of Georgia if I passed over a KK.

Much fun was had, much beer was drank (drunk?) with a little of this thrown in for good measure. There was dancing, if you're being generous about what was happening on the floor. And then, the happy duo rode off into the sunset. Well, okay, maybe not the sunset. But it sounds better to say it that way than to say they stayed 'til after midnight and stumbled off into the pasture to find this:

What you can't see is all the writing on the windows, the 50 beer can string and the 50-gallon trashcan tied to the bumper. Needless to say, they did not go quietly.

I know you're wondering about the whole "nearly pantsless" thing. The outfit I had planned to wear to this shindig was dependent upon a pair of white capri pants. My favorites (i'll post some pics tomorrow). Living in Nowhereville, we still take our dry cleaning to the best around. The best around happens to be about 25 miles away. Don't go thinking I'm nuts. I know you were. It's on the way to work. Sort of. If I go a little out of the way. Anywho, I took the pants to the cleaners in preparations for the wedding. This is how things went down via text the day before the wedding (keeping in mind I had asked several times for Marv to take/pick up the pants in the week prior):

Me: Can you pick up my pants from the cleaners?

Marv:

Me: Can you go by the cleaners and get my pants, plz?

Marv:

Me: Are you ignoring my question about picking up my pants at the cleaners?

Marv: No.

Me: Can you pick them up?

Marv: I'll try to get by there.

Me: Thx.

Later that day:

Me: Did you pick up pants?

Marv: I forgot to go by. I'll get tomorrow.

Me: What if you forget tomorrow?

Marv: You can wear khakis like me.

So, as you can imagine, I ended up picking up the pants after going out of my way because I KNEW he would most likely forget and I would be pantsless. Because let's face it. Once you have your outfit picked and you've matched his bow tie to your shoes, KHAKIS WILL NOT SUFFICE! Ugh. By the way, yes it is annoying that Marv will not use "txt speak" and I have to spell everything out.

So, as the expert Pat Benatar stated, Love IS a Battlefield. You pick at each other over the little things, you argue over the not so little things but overall, the good usually outweighs the bad. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... oh great. Now I'll never get this out of my head. I'm thinking by starting the marriage out ON the battlefield, you can only go up. And with all of us around to help, they'll still be going strong by the time the county has paid for the dang place.

Put a saddle on and time me!

2009-08-21T09:52:00.007-04:00

I DO NOT remember giving this guy a key when we moved in ...

As I stumbled into the bathroom this morning to get ready for work, I flipped the light on and came face to grossness with this dude. He was HUGE! Now as I have stated before, we live in Nowhereville. I expect nature to abound. But NOT IN THE HOUSE! Where did he come from? How did he get in?

I immediately froze in what could be described as my Mexican stand-off pose or maybe even what some would call my High Noon stance. It was me and him and I was NOT going down like this. I quickly scanned my surroundings while keeping one eye on him (okay, so I looked slightly cross-eyed and scary but it was 6:15 in the morning for goodness sake! I was not ready for this. I didn't know I was going to have to do battle.) My only weapon at hand?

I got this picture here

Why was this at hand, you ask? Most people normally store this type of product away when not in use. I do, too. However, I asked Marv LAST WEEKEND to scrub the shower. It was in its home when he began the task. It did not make it back home after he finished. It has been sitting on the edge of the garden tub since Sunday. Could I have put it away? Yes. But, I WAS MAKING A POINT. However, this point is now moot. I cannot bring this to his attention and point out how I have been waiting for him to put it away because Marv, being Marv, will then point out had he not left it out, I would not have had a defense mechanism for my Wolf Spider Battle Royale.

So, I am now armed (and I would like to bring to your attention that this product is SUPPOSED to be enviro-friendly. I don't think this is what the manufacturers had in mind.) I'm staring Spidey McSpiderton down. He's staring right back and not giving an inch. I flex my fingers. My heartbeat is racing. One, two, three steps and BAM! Right in the face! Go GREEN! Uh oh. He's on the move. He makes a feint to my right and I blast him again. He darts back to the left and is looking for any way out. He's in the corner. POW! KAZAAM! He's moving slower and slower. Maybe this stuff is going to work. I dart out to our room and grab my phone so I can capture my kill on camera. But, since the stupid thing HAS NO FLASH, you can only see a brown blob. Curses!

I decide it's time for the royal flush. NO WAY am I putting him in the trash where he can recuperate and come back stronger. What if my using enviro-friendly products gives him super powers? My trash can is right next to the toilet. I am not looking to have that experience.

I grab some t.p. (okay, when I say some I mean enough to cover my entire hand practically up to my elbow three inches thick) and sllllloooooowwwwly approach my nemesis. He moved! Aggghhhh! He's now skedaddling along the baseboard toward MY SIDE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. He's not supposed to be making direct advances! He's supposed to cower in fear! I grab my automatic weapon and take aim, this time on STREAM. No more gentle spray for him. This is WAR! PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW (this is my laser sound)! He's trying to scale the wall. Up is his only option. Option no more, I say! KaPOW! I will say, at this point I have realized that while being a great nature-friendly cleaner, my choice of weapon is not so great as a ... weapon. It really DOESN'T harm nature.

This is it. He HAS to be finished. I go in for the grab. This is the riskiest move of all. What if he uses all of those legs like a springboard and just when I go to end this battle he JUMPS UP ONTO MY HAND?! From there, it's just a quick scurry up my arm, ONTO MY FACE, so we can go eye to eye(s). Ewww!

I go in for the grab and he MOVES. OMG. "I can do this. I can do this. I WILL NOT wake up Marv or Scootie to handle this. I CAN DO THIS!" ROOOAAARRR! I AM WOMAN. OMG, he just moved again. I whack the t.p. down onto him and hear a crunch. That's got to be good, right? Well, for me anyway. I'm sure Spidey McCreeperman wasn't feeling it so much. He's still moving. What is this?! Did I get the only spider on the planet that will not die? WHACK! CRUNCH! Still moving. This is ridiculous. Now, I'm mad. I've now spent about 10 minutes trying to deal with this ... thing. WHACK! CRUNCH! HA! I tamp my heebee jeebees down and grab him and scoot over to the toilet and send him swirling. Humans - 1, Wolf Spider - 0.

Now I just have to try to forget all the stories about things coming up peoples water pipes and biting them on the booty. Happy Friday!

Scootie joins the Air Force!

2009-08-19T08:21:00.014-04:00

So the past two days were an adventure for Scootie. He reported on Monday to the recruiters office and was then taken to MEPS (here we go with the acronyms: Military Entrance Processing Station) at Ft. Gillem. One of the first things he did was take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) which will tell the Air Force what areas he would excel in career-wise. He then took another test to evaluate his "personality" with choices like "I like to party or I like to sit at home." It's an either, or kind of like the lesser of two evils. Or, as Scootie likes to say, "How big of a d-bag are you."

Scootie and the other guys were then taken to a Hotel near the airport for the evening with a special area in the basement just for personnel from MEPS. I have no clue why they had to be in the basement, but Scootie said it was relatively nice. It was here he first met "Cowpoke." Apparently, Cowpoke went through everything the day before but was held over a day because he couldn't pee in a cup. In a few minutes, you'll figure out why it was so hard for Cowpoke to "pony up", so to speak.

Dinner was an all you can eat buffet ... for free! This was right up Scootie's alley. His critiques of the menu were as follows: " The catfish was a little dry, but I got the last of the tartar sauce right before Big Sexy J (an apparently self-bestowed nickname for Scootie's "buddy" for MEPS) could get to it. There was no sweet tea (gasp!) and no water. But I was THAT GUY and asked for sweet tea and they (the hotel staff) provided some. The steamed veggies were nice and there was a lopsided chocolate cake that was mediocre."

After dinner, everyone retired to their rooms due to a 0400 wake-up call for the next day.

Wait! I forgot the best part. At some point during day one, a lot of the enlistees were assigned nicknames. Scootie is now "Jonas" (I told him he needed a haircut!). There was also "Fiddy", "white Carlton" (think Fresh Prince Carlton dancing to Tom Jones), "Kobe" and, of course, "Big Sexy J". Well, Big Sexy J forgot about the whole "no body piercings allowed" thing. Big Sexy J had two big, not-so-sexy nipple piercings. That could only be taken out with pliers. So, picture this. Big Sexy J and Jonas go up to the front desk AT THE HOTEL and ask for a pair of pliers. Now, the front desk guy isn't just going to hand over a pair of pliers, so the boys have to tell the whole story. After Front Desk Guy gets up from the floor where he fell after laughing so hard and wiping his tears, he then calls Maintenance Guy. Maintenance Guy has to hear the whole story as well. After he finishes laughing, he gives the boys the pliers and wishes Big Sexy J luck. Guest services only go so far, I guess. So, after a lot of blood, sweat and tears the last ring was removed at about 0200. This is a life lesson people. If you're going to get your nipples pierced, one day it's going to involve four guys, a lot of sweat and a pair of pliers. Back to the story.

Apparently, Scootie's roommate hadn't showered in months, because when Scootie walked into his room, he was hit in the face with a stench even he couldn't describe. And that's saying something. Luckily, this not-to-be-named roommate got in the shower and saved Scootie's sense of smell from totally disintegrating. The one thing that Scootie hasn't learned yet? Fall asleep BEFORE your roommate because he might snore like a freight train and keep you up until 0300. Did I mention he had a 0400 wake-up? Yeah.

Day two was the FUN day! After a lovely breakfast of bacon, powdered eggs, french toast sticks, hot orange juice and "sounds like" starshucks coffee, the boys and girls were back to MEPS for fun and excitement. They then got biometrically entered into the vast "US Military database", fingerprinted and photographed. Everything is "signed" with a fingerprint these days. I wish I had known this. I wouldn't have spent all those years harping about Scootie's handwriting looking like a serial killers. Who knew he would never have to write again? Scootie then took his first ever (I hope) breathalyzer ... and passed! Whoo hoo! Then forms, forms, forms, wait, wait, wait.

Scootie then became "THAT GUY" again. It was now time for the "pee test". I hope I'm going to do this justice, because the telling of it was hilarious. At the start, you're given a cup and a bottle. You're told to put exactly 60ml in the bottle. If you can't do this, you become like Cowpoke and stay another whole day. Everyone goes in four at a time, but Scootie noticed no one was coming out. By the time he got in there, there were 12 guys standing around waiting ... meaning there were 12 guys watching Scootie try to pee. Scootie was THAT GUY because he's not into exhibitionistic peeing. When they reminded him of Cowpoke, he was finally able to overcome his issues and get the job done. Scootie says it was like a "firing squad watching you pee." Then came the hard part. He had to pour in exactly 60ml. Picture a mad scientist in his lab. Pouring potions back and forth ... back and forth. Scootie was worried in the telling of this because he didn't know how I was going to blog the motions he was making in the attempt to get 60ml. I think you can get the picture.
They then had to turn their pee cups over to the guy in the "drive-thru window" ... in the bathroom. I don't know and I don't want to know. I'm going to pretend it's a military thing and go about my business.

Blood tests are next. "Oh, I don't have AIDS, by the way." Good to know. Some kid who is afraid of needles went into some kind of seizure or convulsions during this little test. I'm not sure the military is the best place for him. I'm going to spare everyone the details of the part that came next. Let's just say it involved Scootie in his underwear with an old German dude and then Scootie not in his underwear with an old German dude.

There were more tests: ears, eyes, audio (isn't that ears?). Then all of the guys are sent into this large room ... in their underwear. They are measured for height and weight, then made to do some calesthenics ... in their underwear. They also do the duck walk and the Ranger Walk (I think Ranger Walk = Power Walking) ... in their underwear. As Scootie said, and I think it sums up the day pretty well, "It was just a bunch of awkward."

Scootie then was unofficially, officially sworn in to the United States Air Force and then met with his career counselor. He was instructed to prioritize his choices in the order he wanted. He chose some pretty good paths, such as Visual Imagery & Intrusion Detection, Ground Radar System, Satellite and Wideband Communication Equipment and so on and so forth. For those of you who know Scootie, I think his number one choice might just suprise you. **

He "most likely" will be going to boot camp in January and we are hopeful it stays January so we can give him a great Thanksgiving and Christmas before he goes to Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX.

** What did Scootie pick? Security Forces. Scooties gonna be a Police Man.

Away for a bit...

2009-08-14T21:29:00.001-04:00

Sorry I've been away for a bit. I was out of town most of the week for a training conference. I'll post more over the weekend.

I Thawt I Thaw a Puddy-Tat!

2009-08-09T21:58:00.005-04:00

Today was pretty uneventful. At least for the human element. BTK had an adventure. Let's just say it involved RTD (Rudy the Dog) and a tree. Marv comes in the house and says, "Billy just ran up his first tree." Now, I know this is somewhat normal in the feline world. You would have thought Marv had told us Billy had packed his little kitty-sized suitcase and was hitting the dusty trail never to be heard from again. Sissy and I went running (Okay, Sissy was running. I was hobbling) out the front door to see Billy halfway up a tree, holding on for dear life meowing for all he's worth. "Oh, Billy, you poor baby!" " Billy, can you get down?" Like he's going to answer us. "Sure, I'll be down in a few. I just have to pry my claws out of this tree. They're sunk in about ten inches, so it might take me a minute." I, of course, being concerned for Billy, grabbed the camera on the way out the door to document the entire event. For your viewing pleasure*:

* No kitties or doggies were harmed in this incident. Except for BTK's psyche. All his friends are going to mock him because his mommy had to come rescue him. And yes, that is Billy's booty in the 2nd picture. Instead of coming down the easy way, he decides to go over the branch above him and come down on the other side.

A Busy Weekend...

2009-08-09T20:51:00.006-04:00

Why is it the week always tends to drag on interminably but the weekends seem to last two seconds?

Sissy got her first day at a new school over with and it went reasonably well. The Niece and Nephew start school tomorrow. Scootie goes Tuesday to the recruiter. Sister L goes back to school soon. And the Little Man came down from A-Town after getting his stripe for karate. So, we had a good bit of celebrating. The PLAN was to have lunch, swim for a few hours, play some baseball for a couple of innings(Little Man loves baseball and is a fan of the Mets - seriously. He can name the entire roster, their stats and tell you who's on the injured reserve list. Did I mention he's like 6?).

We started out with the Little Man wanting to eat at Burger King and everyone else wanting Chick-fil-A. The majority won out, with the Little Man having an appetizer from the BK Lounge (ala Dane Cook) and the rest us of us having Chick -a -Flay (as the kids used to call it). Since it was Saturday, the whole free world was there to get their fix since the place isn't open on Sundays. Everyone has to get their fill so they can make it for a WHOLE DAY without their chicken.

At this point, it's like eleventy-billion degrees outside and we are going to the pool. I attempted to take some pictures of all the kids in the pool and was mildly successful after borrowing Scootie's flip flops. I think I left a layer of skin on the concrete when I ventured out of the shade with no shoes. Needless to say, they didn't quite fit.

It took about 30 minutes before all the fun went out of the waterguns and everybody was done with swimming. Maybe it had to do with the pool feeling like bath water.

Next up: front yard baseball. Did I mention it was now about 50 bajillion degrees with no relief in sight? If we were smart, we would have done the baseball first. Duh! Baseball lasted about 10 minutes with Sister D complaining about her seats and saying she was never returning to the venue again. I personally think she had the best seat. You can't get a baseball to the face if you're behind the tree!

Sister L wanted to go to the movies but Little Man wanted nothing to do with the movies. The game was over with a score of 3-2 ( I have no clue who won) and all participants scattering to the four winds. Scootie, Niece, Nephew and Sister D headed South, and Sissy and I headed to Mammy's.

I need to post this now because no one will believe it and I might forget. I can't believe I didn't get a picture. Sissy and Nickel (her cousin twice -removed) helped Mamy with her mulch project. Sissy PERSONNALY HAULED 21 WHEEL BARROWS FULL OF MULCH TO THE BACK OF MAMMY'S PROPERTY!!! I had the easy job. Making chili fries for Nickel. Ahh, air conditioning.

It's Scary ... and it smells good!

2009-08-06T18:41:00.004-04:00

I bought it to freshen the air. I've found out it has a greater benefit. Apparently, it scares the bejeebus out of people because it's motion activated. Nephew and Marv were both caught quite by surprise at a most inopportune moment. Score!

Sissy is a Sophomore!

2009-08-06T18:04:00.007-04:00

Sissy is ready for back to school...on FRIDAY. Again, who starts school on a Friday?! Apparently, Sissy.

Scootie took Sissy to town today to get her schedule and meet the teachers. Her first class of the day is listed as Visual Arts/Fiber I. Does this mean she'll be watching cartoons and eating things that are good for her? She also has been placed in an advanced drama class. Apparently, this class is usually for Juniors and Seniors. The teacher did ask Sissy if she thought she could handle the course. If I had been there, I could have told her Sissy is quite capable of holding her own when it comes to drama. Some of her performances in the past have been Oscar worthy.

She'll also be in a Chemistry class that is for Juniors. Apparently, she's a little ahead of the curve in the Science department. Bunsen burners and cool eyewear here we come! Whoo hoo!

The only thing about Sissy going back to school ... Who's going to hang out with this guy?

These Feet

2009-08-05T13:55:00.005-04:00

Oh how these feet have grown in the last 18 years. When you were a baby, I used to watch your little hands and feet for hours and marvel at how little and perfect you were. As the years have gone by, these feet have taken you through a multitude of sports that you ended up realizing were just not for you, through adventures with your family and friends, through arguments with parents who just seem like the most unreasonable people on the planet ...

These feet have taken you through your first day of kindergarten all the way through graduation from high school. And now, these feet are taking you on one of your most important journey's yet. Next week you will be taking a huge leap toward your future when you take your oath to become a member of the United States Air Force. We are so proud of you and the steps you are taking.

We can't wait to see where these feet take you next...

Big Weekend in Little Town

2009-08-03T20:31:00.017-04:00

First, let me apologize for the lengthy post. My fams was lambasting me for not having posted in a few days.

So this weekend we finally celebrated the Nephew's 17th birthday (they were on vacate last weekend...LUCKY!) and his actual bday was this past Tuesday. Anywho, on Saturday the sisters and I took off with the kids to the mall (or I guess I should say MALLS because we had to go to both ... both had Charlotte Russe [can you say "student discount"? Much love to CR!] for Sissy but only one had Justice for Niece) for some BTS shopping. I still CANNOT BELIEVE I went out to the mall(s) on TAX-FREE weekend two days before school starts for most of the free world. Sissy gets to start on Friday. Who starts school on Friday?!

Niece and Nephew spent the night with The Family that evening. To tell you the truth, I don't think they had much choice in the matter. Sister D practically threw the boys out of the car when we got back from the stores with a quick, "Okay, see you later...have fun...miss you" a wave and a cloud of dust. Apparently, the boys were in fine form. I know this because Sister L refused to ride any further in the car with them and we couldn't very well leave her at the mall (although I don't think it would be so bad...there's a CinnaBon -- 'nuf said!)

So, Birthday boy awoke to the smell of bacon (mmmmm....BACON) and had a strawberry muffin set ablaze right under his nose with all of us crazies singing an award-winning version of Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs. Needless to say, it wasn't one of his finer moments.

The day moved on and I took the kids to "town". It took about five minutes to go 'round town, but the most exciting part of the whole trip was the kids getting to see a real, original WalMart. Seriously, this thing only has six check out lanes (don't get excited -- only two were open). The kids had never seen anything less than the "Super-Duper We've Got Everything Under the Sun" WalMart. Our other adventure in town was me straight up messing up Scootie's game when he tried to get a phone number from the cashier @ Taco Bell. He WAS NOT HAPPY. Oh, wells. I needed my Chalupa and some caffeine.

Next up on the schedule was the "OFFICIAL" celebration complete with homemade German Chocolate cake (thanks to Sister D, aka Nephew and Niece's Mom) and some ice cream (thanks to Edy's) with another great rendition of Happy Birthday. After the festivities, we ran by the old house to check the mail (thanks US Postal Service for putting my old address as my new address. I guess that means the carrier has to take the mail out and then put it back in again? And for this, they are complaining that they may have to close some offices?!).

Back at the house, we just vegged out, except for Sissy. She proceeded to follow Billy The Kitty (BTK) around with the camera. Yes, I know I nicknamed the kitty after a serial killer. I'm sick like that.

Down By The Creek... No Words Necessary

2009-07-30T19:30:00.004-04:00

Home Sweet Home

2009-07-30T18:57:00.005-04:00

So this is Home Sweet Home. We have been fortunate enough (okay, after all I've been through we'll call it fortunate at this point) to buy a great place I like to call our little slice of heaven. This is the home we'll be living in while we wait to build our new house, hopefully by Scott Jernigan Homes. The new house will be off to the right of this one. We are so happy to have the move behind us and be in the new place. It's actually bigger than where we were living.

Sissy is getting ready to start a brand new school. She went earlier this week to register but when I asked if she liked the school, she said "I only got to see the front office. They were waxing the floor. But the office was great!" Always the optimist. I had to take Marv and Scootie for a ride this evening to show them around the back roads and we had to go on an ice cream search. Thankfully, it wasn't as disastrous as the trek for pizza. It was purchased at a convenience store (no Bruster's or Baskin Robbin's out this far) and they had to eat it on the way back to the house because it would never have made the ride back.

I know this is a rambling post, but you can expect more of the same until I get caught up on the move and showing off the property. My plan for this blog is to document all the work I'm going to be doing over time to bee-yoo-tify this place. My FAVORITE spot on the whole place is down by the creek with all the wild ferns.

The Prodigal Son Returns...

2009-07-30T14:53:00.003-04:00

Last night, Scootie returned home for the first time since Sunday. That means he has spent a total of about 8 hours at the new house since we moved. But, I can't blame him. We did move him all of 20 miles away from his friends. Scootie and Nephew spent the day Tuesday celebrating Nephew's birthday (Happy 17!) at the Vans Warped Tour 09 . Picture lots of sweaty teens listening to lots of loud music and trying to get free SWAG. Scootie came home with this pic of him and The Millionaires and a pair of signed underwear (I DO NOT want to know!). They had a great time and came home safe so that's all that matters, I guess. More to post later.

The Beginning...

2009-07-29T13:40:00.002-04:00

This, hopefully, will be the beginning of a great thing. I have become addicted to the blog world in the last few months and have decided to start one of my own to document our (read: family) new beginning and all the stuff that comes afterward. We have recently purchased our own little slice of heaven and are SUPER excited!

One of the best things about moving are all the great little "things" that happen and all the quirks you find. For the last few days we have had no phone and no t.v. (ugh!) But, we have made it through thanks to the land of DVD's and especially my super-duper boxed set of the ENTIRE Will and Grace series. Anywho, we've basically had no contact with the "outside world" because we live in the middle of Nowhereville. Last night, the Hubby (aka Marv) was running around trying all the phone outlets because the automated service center for the phone oligopoly said our service was all connected-y. Liar! The phone he was using has caller i.d. and an answering machine, so it has to be plugged into an electrical outlet. Sissy and I were in the process of making dinner and suddenly... no power. Of course I blamed it on Hubby! It's not like I can look outside at the neighbors and see if their power is out, too. Again, Nowhereville. So, we sit for a while and wait. Nothing. Marv decides he's really hungry and decides he wants to go get a pizza.

Let's look back a few days. Cue the Wayne's World flashback music... doodly-doo doodly-doo... We're riding down the road to look at the property again, pre-purchase, and Marv is all showy-offy with his Crackberry saying he's already found a pizza place and asking what I've found. I should note that I do not have a Crackberry, which I think is HIGHLY unfair. So, I grab the keys, wallet and Sissy and off we go. Marv points me in the general direction while he calls and places the order. Now, as I'm driving I see ominous black clouds swirling across the sky and begin to think I might have been a bit hasty in my accusation against Marv. The further south I go, the darker the sky gets and I am soon driving through torrential rains and freakishly heavy winds (I thought I saw Toto at one point!)... for PIZZA! I keep driving and driving and then ask Marv what the street numbers are for this place. " I think it's 8307." Hmmm... we just passed like 13, 000 something. Yeah. This pizza place was 17 miles down the road, making it a 34 mile round-trip. And yes, the pizza was good and I think they were the only people that had power. Thanks Rum Creek Pizza!

I think next time we decide to allow Marv to pick an eating establishment he found using his Crackberry, we will DEFINITELY ask how far it is first!