Thursday, September 24, 2009

Scootie Should Have...

If Scootie had done this with all of his Lego's (and by all, I mean fifty bajillion), I probably wouldn't have been so ticked off when I stepped on one (or eighty) in the middle of the night. Enjoy.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Barbara Walters Can Suck It!

Sorry to be so rude, but that is nowhere near as rude as Barbara Walters was to Paula Deen, Food Network chef, Lady and Sons (holla, Savannah!) restauranteur and all-around good person, yesterday on The View.

Granted, childhood obesity is a problem throughout the United States. But is Paula Deen personally responsible for it? NO! I know there are health-nut people out there that totally disagree with Paula's cooking style. SO DON'T EAT IT. It's simple really.

Paula was on the show to promote her new cookbook, Paula Deen's Cookbook for the Lunch-Box Set. It gives great tips for packing good lunches for your kids, great kid-friendly recipes for the budding chef, etc. Paula is not advocating you feeding your child these foods for every meal. Any parent worth their next breath knows it is OUR responsibility to make sure our kids are eating right, but also know that allowing a treat every once in awhile is okay.

So, to recap:  Paula Deen is the one of the most genuine, honest people on television (and by the way, raised two healthy, handsome, NOT FAT, men who grew up eating her food).

... and Barbara Walters is past her prime, bitter and could use a stick of butter. Bless her heart.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Things I Like...

Yay! I got my Nie Nie necklace in the mail!

I was so excited to see it and I immediately put it on. When Marv asked me what it was supposed to mean, I explained about Nie Nie and that it helped me when I'm having bad days to remember that, compared to when I started, "All Is Well." I've been saying that it could have been worse from the beginning, but some days the constant pain and the scars just get to you. But I see how Nie Nie is persevering and draw strength from her seemingly never-ending strength. Like Nie Nie, I draw a lot from my family and friends who have been so amazing throughout this entire ordeal. While my struggles have been nothing compared to Nie Nie's, they're my struggles with which I have to deal. If you need a reminder that all is well in your life, go here and pick you one of these beautiful necklaces up. You can pick your own colors, but you probably already figured that out by mine being black and red (Go Dawgs!).

I was waiting for this...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Happy 1st Birthday, BTK!

Do you KNOW how hard it is to get a cat to wear a birthday crown? No? Let me tell you, it's ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. The only reason we were able to get this shot is because BTK was more interested in his birthday seafood feast. Poor Sissy. She worked so hard on his little crown. Of course, if the local pet store had any party hats for cats, this probably would have worked out better. But they don't carry any. HELLO. You carry fifty bajillion costumes for dogs (court jester, hot dog, etc.) but you don't have ANYTHING to celebrate a birthday?! What kind of people are you? AND, almost 90% of your store is dedicated to DOGS. You have one meager little shelf of craptastic cat stuff and everything else is for dogs. Don't get me wrong, I like dogs. But BTK is not a dog. As we were leaving, I made the comment to Sissy that "apparently, BTK should have been born a dog." Thank goodness BTK didn't hear me.
So, Happy 1st Birthday to BTK and his brother Big Stuff who lives with Niece and Nephew. I have also posted evidentiary photos of exactly how hard it is to get BTK to wear a birthday crown and hold still for pictures*. And how weird are we for singing Happy Birthday to a cat?
* No BTK's were harmed in the taking of these photos (even though it looks like he's being choked!) Do you see the evil eye he's giving us? NOT HAPPY!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Our first offical project as homeowners is complete! And, I might say, I think it is the most important one.

Behold the beauty:
Needless to say, RTD is not as excited as I am. He wholly enjoyed being in the A/C. What did he hate? Being in an air crate IN MY KITCHEN (okay, it was in the breakfast area but technically IN MY KITCHEN) smelling people food and having BTK taunt him by flaunting his freedom to roam about the house.

And, I think RTD would argue my "complete" is an erroneous title (yes, he uses big words. He is Marv's dog, after all). I think he would prefer HIS HUMAN PUT A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. Or, at least, that's what he implied to me. I could be mistaken.

How To Become A Pirate in One Easy Step

Over the weekend, Sister D and I took the kiddles to a local state park for some picture taking. Lots of fun was had, some great pictures were taken, I ran in to a former co-worker and then, just like that, it was over.

While we were out having fun, my BIL J-Daddy became a pirate. How, you ask? It's simple:

You take one bungee cord (that has apparently been used one too many times), one goodwill gesture to help a co-worker (even though you were on your way out the door) and one unprotected eyeball (well, two eyeballs because otherwise that would be awkward - but only use one). Now, try to use that bungee cord one more time (to be fair J-Daddy didn't know it had apparently used up its very existence on this earth).

Kapow! Take a bungee cord hook right to the eye! Instant pirate. Ta-da!

See? It's like a vacation!
The rest of the weekend was like an exotic vacation only Sister D and Nephew ended up at a trauma hospital ER in downtown ATL with sticky seats and no George Clooney.

"You know all those breaking news stories where they say the victims and/or the suspects were taken to insert hospital name here and they say they have reporters live at the scene? WE WERE LIVE AT THE SCENE. And I've bleached our shoes twice since we've been home. And I think I'm burning our clothes."
My BIL is doing as well as can be expected for someone who can't bend over, has to sleep upright, etc. SO THE BLOOD DOESN'T DRAIN OUT OF HIS EYE.

So that was pretty much my weekend. To take your mind off of the whole "blood draining out of the eye thing", I'll post some pics of the kids who were happily posing while their dad/uncle was getting his eyeball poked.

The girls at their best. The boys...being the boys
This is Niece's best "rock face"
This is what most of the day looked like...

When I have "permission" from Sister D, I'll post some of the pictures that were the real reason we were at the park.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Saving Elton John's Underwear

While we were watching Hoarder's on A&E last night, Marv commented he didn't know there was such a thing as an "organizer".

Me: How did you not know there was such a thing as an organizer?  There are people that shop for other people as a living.

Marv: I've dealt with those types of people. I've never dealt with an "organizer".

Me: When have you dealt with a personal shopper? You mean you called somebody up and told them "I need this" and they went out and found it for you?

Marv: No, but when I was working security for Rich's (now Macy's) at Lenox Mall during Freaknik and Elton John needed his Calvin Klein underwear, his PERSONAL SHOPPER came over and bought some and I had to guard it until his bodyguard came to pick it up.

And THAT is how Marv knows what size underwear Elton John wears.

Monday, September 7, 2009

If I ever do this, shoot me...

Uggghhhh! I CANNOT believe these people. I know it's a sickness, but tonight's episode is making people vomit. LITERALLY!

Scootie Made Me An International Trafficker (ALLEGEDLY)

Scootie decided he wanted to go to Chick-fil-A for a free sandwich and asked me if I wanted anything. I wasn't feeling the chicken thing, so I picked something else in close proximity. Unfortunately, due to my not wanting a piece of chicken with two pickles, Scootie has now made me part of what could end up being an international narcotics-trafficking, money-laundering ring. Even though we had a whole conversation about this very subject before he left.

Me:  It's really a shame that La Parilla has the best cheese dip.

Scootie: Why?

M (and Marv):  Because they're criminals. (We tell the whole story, then...) I guess if you use cash, it would be okay.

Did he use cash? I think you can figure the answer. He said I never told him SPECIFICALLY to GO GET cash to use. So now the Secret Service is going to be knocking on my door.  Is there a good side to this? If I can blame me not having any money on this and demand my 50 MILLION DOLLARS be returned, yes.

Things I didn't blog about this past week...

1.     Our Ya-Ya Night: The sisters and I went to dinner and a movie to see The Ugly Truth. Gerard Butler...yummy. Though I did like him better (or rather, his physique) in 300.

This is what Mega-Nothing looks like

2.     I didn't win $325 million dollars: Between dinner and the movie, we all broke down and bought lottery tickets because, surely, it was our turn. Sister L attempted to snatch my ticket from my hand, even though she SAID she was just going for the pen I was holding. RIGHT. Sister D stated she needed to win so she could "buy Chase and fire their a*s!" Sister L then stated we needed to "come to an agreement right now that if one of us wins, we all split it equally."

CAUTION: Sticky substances

3.     Something horrible happened at the theater: this was evidenced by the "CAUTION" tape strung from the top of the theater to the bottom right down the middle. Were we not supposed to talk to anyone on the other side? Were they not supposed to talk to us? Were we even supposed to be there? We didn't know, but it didn't stop us from watching the movie. I paid $7.50 to watch the thing, no dastardly deed was keeping me from enjoying the show.  Turns out, they had cleaned the seats earlier and some of them were still damp.

4.     The USPS is still ticking me off. To date, we have received only (2) pieces of forwarded mail. But, despite this I had to go to hell the post office to purchase stamps and mail some invites. When I arrived (before the lunch crowd), there were (2) employees in the whole place and three people in line. There was a customer at the counter mailing off what seemed to be every item from her home in individual boxes that was taking forever. When the post office employee that was helping her finished and the customer was on her way, the employee walks through a door and disappears ... without the boxes.  So, it's not like she was actually putting those boxes in line to go out. She just DISAPPEARED. By now, there are about 10 people in line behind me. The missing employee finally returns and then the other guy DISAPPEARS. Are you kidding me? Is there some secret portal back there? Are they really robots (evidenced by the complete lack of emotion on either of their faces) and they have to go into this secret room to recharge (download all our personal information, DNA, etc.) after each contact with a humanoid? Uggh. When I finally get to the counter, I ask for 60 stamps and you would think I had asked for her first-born. In my defense, I did attempt to purchase my stamps from the automated machine. BUT, this machine only allows you to buy priority and express mail stamps. You know, the EXPENSIVE ones. I guess they are hoping you'll get frustrated and buy these just to get out of the place. The entire process took me 45 MINUTES. I DO NOT HEART YOU, USPS!

5.     And last, but certainly not least, Scootie got his date for "shipping out" to boot camp. November 24. Yep, two days before Thanksgiving. I am now planning a going away party, ThankChristmas and regular Thanksgiving while trying not to think about my baby being away from home for the first time ever.

P.S.:     I DO NOT HEART YOU USPS, PART DEAUX:  Some of you may not know this, but you can change the address for your driver's license online, for free. The catch? The DDS (Dept. of Driver's Services) links up it's satellites in space with those of the USPS to confirm your address has changed. Can you guess where this is going? Yep. Marv got a notice that his address change request on his license has been rejected due to the USPS not having his new address on file..FROM JULY. I am still waiting to see what happens with mine.