Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I know the details are a little hard to see, but they are sooo cute. The shoes were a great find. Charming Charlie has some of the BEST prices around for "play" jewels. I am so glad I found this store. Sissy is REALLY glad I found this store since she usually gets (takes) anything I buy. Someday soon, I hope to buy some of their cute heels (one can always hope). The best part about the whole store? Everything is color coordinated. All the yellow accessories together, all the orange, etc. Super fantastic for those with OCD issues.
This ring practically covers my entire finger, but is too fun. Also from Charming Charlie.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
My friend Marty (MFM) is going to kill me for posting about him, I just know it. But, he's in Kentucky and I'm in Georgia so I figure I can get a head start and he won't be able to catch me. I talked to Marty this afternoon after not hearing from him FOREVER. Okay, so I know my phone does dial out. I'll take responsibility for my part in the lack of communication.
So, Marty is living the good life up in the big town of Hartford, otherwise known as Nowhereville 2. Or should he be in Nowhereville and I be in Nowhereville 2 since he moved to his place first? No matter. it's my blog, so he gets Nowhereville 2. I took a trip up to see Marty quite some time ago when I THOUGHT I was ready. My foot/leg/arm had something to say about that. Okay, something to scream about that little trip. Needless to say, I had to cut the trip short and head back home before I was ready.
MFM has a great place with open space as far as the eye can see with a great house his grandparents used to live in that he has lovingly updated and cared for over the last few years. When I arrived, we just sat on the back porch and talked and caught up since he had last made the trip down. There was no traffic, no planes overhead, no noisy neighbors, just ... peace. MFM took me around the property on his 4-wheeler because I couldn't handle one on my own. And we won't even mention that my wallet fell out of my pocket at some point and we had to backtrack FOREVER to try and find the thing. No, we won't mention that.
Then, MFM made the biggest mistake of his LIFE!
He let me tool around town in this. Whoo whee! Can you say FUN?! I tried to get him to let me drive it back home but he wouldn't go for that. I have NO CLUE why. So, after I got to drive for a bit, MFM took over at the wheel and showed me around the big metropolises (metropoli?) of Hartford and Beaver Dam, KY. I'm telling you, the outskirts of these places are truly God's country. Green as far as the eye can see. Beautiful. I snapped a few shots of things that caught my eye and I've attached them below. I hope to go back soon and take the kids this time.
"Welcome to Hartford, KY: Home of 2000 Happy People & A Few Soreheads"
And finally, I saw this on the way home. I have no idea WHAT he is doing to this horse and I don't think I want to know. This horse? In the parking lot of a liquor store. There's no reference to horses in the name of this store in any way, shape or form. The town? No reference to any horse. I HAVE NO IDEA.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Our friends Mikey D. and Brandi K. tied the knot this weekend at an historical battlefield (or so said the County Commission when they paid over 8 MILLION dollars for the place). When I first heard they were getting married on a battlefield, in August, in GEORGIA, where it's 98 degrees AFTER the sun goes down, I thought I would treat it like a spa day. You know, humidity + heat = sauna. See, that's a positive. Well, the nuptials took place at 6:30, in the shade (who knew there would be shade on a battlefield?) and there was a great breeze. Turns out these kids knew what they were doing all along.
The actual vows were short, sweet and to the point. The bride had jokes. When it came time for the exchange, all of the bridesmaids had the most gaudy, tacky (fake) rings you can imagine. All the men in attendance at the ceremony were so jealous when they saw the real ring. It was a titanium band with a camouflage insert. After the ceremony, we all retired to the "barn" for the reception. The tables were decorated with Mason jar centerpieces full of colorful Gerber daisies, tied with raffia bows. There were also smaller Mason jars with boiled peanuts to eat and for ambient lighting, Mason jars filled 3/4 with roasted peanuts topped with a tea light. Gorgeous and simple. In the picture below, you can see our "take-aways". That's right. Camo koozies "to have and to hold and to keep your beer cold." The back has the bride and groom's names and the date. Too cool. Haha ... "too cool" ... koozies ... get it? Notice mine is holding the cocaine of the South, Coca Cola. Dinner was catered by these local folks. Instead of the traditional "nobody ever eats enough of these things to warrant the cost" wedding cake, the happy couple had a top round tier to cut and the rest of the "layers" were cupcakes, mini pecan pies and ... wait for it ... Krispy Kreme donuts. Just take it and apply it directly to my hips, please. You know I didn't pass one up. I'd be kicked out of Georgia if I passed over a KK.
Much fun was had, much beer was drank (drunk?) with a little of this thrown in for good measure. There was dancing, if you're being generous about what was happening on the floor. And then, the happy duo rode off into the sunset. Well, okay, maybe not the sunset. But it sounds better to say it that way than to say they stayed 'til after midnight and stumbled off into the pasture to find this:
I know you're wondering about the whole "nearly pantsless" thing. The outfit I had planned to wear to this shindig was dependent upon a pair of white capri pants. My favorites (i'll post some pics tomorrow). Living in Nowhereville, we still take our dry cleaning to the best around. The best around happens to be about 25 miles away. Don't go thinking I'm nuts. I know you were. It's on the way to work. Sort of. If I go a little out of the way. Anywho, I took the pants to the cleaners in preparations for the wedding. This is how things went down via text the day before the wedding (keeping in mind I had asked several times for Marv to take/pick up the pants in the week prior):Me: Can you pick up my pants from the cleaners? Marv: Me: Can you go by the cleaners and get my pants, plz? Marv: Me: Are you ignoring my question about picking up my pants at the cleaners? Marv: No. Me: Can you pick them up? Marv: I'll try to get by there. Me: Thx. Later that day: Me: Did you pick up pants? Marv: I forgot to go by. I'll get tomorrow. Me: What if you forget tomorrow? Marv: You can wear khakis like me. So, as you can imagine, I ended up picking up the pants after going out of my way because I KNEW he would most likely forget and I would be pantsless. Because let's face it. Once you have your outfit picked and you've matched his bow tie to your shoes, KHAKIS WILL NOT SUFFICE! Ugh. By the way, yes it is annoying that Marv will not use "txt speak" and I have to spell everything out.
So, as the expert Pat Benatar stated, Love IS a Battlefield. You pick at each other over the little things, you argue over the not so little things but overall, the good usually outweighs the bad. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... oh great. Now I'll never get this out of my head. I'm thinking by starting the marriage out ON the battlefield, you can only go up. And with all of us around to help, they'll still be going strong by the time the county has paid for the dang place.
Friday, August 21, 2009
As I stumbled into the bathroom this morning to get ready for work, I flipped the light on and came face to grossness with this dude. He was HUGE! Now as I have stated before, we live in Nowhereville. I expect nature to abound. But NOT IN THE HOUSE! Where did he come from? How did he get in?
I immediately froze in what could be described as my Mexican stand-off pose or maybe even what some would call my High Noon stance. It was me and him and I was NOT going down like this. I quickly scanned my surroundings while keeping one eye on him (okay, so I looked slightly cross-eyed and scary but it was 6:15 in the morning for goodness sake! I was not ready for this. I didn't know I was going to have to do battle.) My only weapon at hand?
I got this picture here
Why was this at hand, you ask? Most people normally store this type of product away when not in use. I do, too. However, I asked Marv LAST WEEKEND to scrub the shower. It was in its home when he began the task. It did not make it back home after he finished. It has been sitting on the edge of the garden tub since Sunday. Could I have put it away? Yes. But, I WAS MAKING A POINT. However, this point is now moot. I cannot bring this to his attention and point out how I have been waiting for him to put it away because Marv, being Marv, will then point out had he not left it out, I would not have had a defense mechanism for my Wolf Spider Battle Royale.
So, I am now armed (and I would like to bring to your attention that this product is SUPPOSED to be enviro-friendly. I don't think this is what the manufacturers had in mind.) I'm staring Spidey McSpiderton down. He's staring right back and not giving an inch. I flex my fingers. My heartbeat is racing. One, two, three steps and BAM! Right in the face! Go GREEN! Uh oh. He's on the move. He makes a feint to my right and I blast him again. He darts back to the left and is looking for any way out. He's in the corner. POW! KAZAAM! He's moving slower and slower. Maybe this stuff is going to work. I dart out to our room and grab my phone so I can capture my kill on camera. But, since the stupid thing HAS NO FLASH, you can only see a brown blob. Curses!
I decide it's time for the royal flush. NO WAY am I putting him in the trash where he can recuperate and come back stronger. What if my using enviro-friendly products gives him super powers? My trash can is right next to the toilet. I am not looking to have that experience.
I grab some t.p. (okay, when I say some I mean enough to cover my entire hand practically up to my elbow three inches thick) and sllllloooooowwwwly approach my nemesis. He moved! Aggghhhh! He's now skedaddling along the baseboard toward MY SIDE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. He's not supposed to be making direct advances! He's supposed to cower in fear! I grab my automatic weapon and take aim, this time on STREAM. No more gentle spray for him. This is WAR! PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW (this is my laser sound)! He's trying to scale the wall. Up is his only option. Option no more, I say! KaPOW! I will say, at this point I have realized that while being a great nature-friendly cleaner, my choice of weapon is not so great as a ... weapon. It really DOESN'T harm nature.
This is it. He HAS to be finished. I go in for the grab. This is the riskiest move of all. What if he uses all of those legs like a springboard and just when I go to end this battle he JUMPS UP ONTO MY HAND?! From there, it's just a quick scurry up my arm, ONTO MY FACE, so we can go eye to eye(s). Ewww!
I go in for the grab and he MOVES. OMG. "I can do this. I can do this. I WILL NOT wake up Marv or Scootie to handle this. I CAN DO THIS!" ROOOAAARRR! I AM WOMAN. OMG, he just moved again. I whack the t.p. down onto him and hear a crunch. That's got to be good, right? Well, for me anyway. I'm sure Spidey McCreeperman wasn't feeling it so much. He's still moving. What is this?! Did I get the only spider on the planet that will not die? WHACK! CRUNCH! Still moving. This is ridiculous. Now, I'm mad. I've now spent about 10 minutes trying to deal with this ... thing. WHACK! CRUNCH! HA! I tamp my heebee jeebees down and grab him and scoot over to the toilet and send him swirling. Humans - 1, Wolf Spider - 0.
Now I just have to try to forget all the stories about things coming up peoples water pipes and biting them on the booty. Happy Friday!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wait! I forgot the best part. At some point during day one, a lot of the enlistees were assigned nicknames. Scootie is now "Jonas" (I told him he needed a haircut!). There was also "Fiddy", "white Carlton" (think Fresh Prince Carlton dancing to Tom Jones), "Kobe" and, of course, "Big Sexy J". Well, Big Sexy J forgot about the whole "no body piercings allowed" thing. Big Sexy J had two big, not-so-sexy nipple piercings. That could only be taken out with pliers. So, picture this. Big Sexy J and Jonas go up to the front desk AT THE HOTEL and ask for a pair of pliers. Now, the front desk guy isn't just going to hand over a pair of pliers, so the boys have to tell the whole story. After Front Desk Guy gets up from the floor where he fell after laughing so hard and wiping his tears, he then calls Maintenance Guy. Maintenance Guy has to hear the whole story as well. After he finishes laughing, he gives the boys the pliers and wishes Big Sexy J luck. Guest services only go so far, I guess. So, after a lot of blood, sweat and tears the last ring was removed at about 0200. This is a life lesson people. If you're going to get your nipples pierced, one day it's going to involve four guys, a lot of sweat and a pair of pliers. Back to the story.
Day two was the FUN day! After a lovely breakfast of bacon, powdered eggs, french toast sticks, hot orange juice and "sounds like" starshucks coffee, the boys and girls were back to MEPS for fun and excitement. They then got biometrically entered into the vast "US Military database", fingerprinted and photographed. Everything is "signed" with a fingerprint these days. I wish I had known this. I wouldn't have spent all those years harping about Scootie's handwriting looking like a serial killers. Who knew he would never have to write again? Scootie then took his first ever (I hope) breathalyzer ... and passed! Whoo hoo! Then forms, forms, forms, wait, wait, wait.
They then had to turn their pee cups over to the guy in the "drive-thru window" ... in the bathroom. I don't know and I don't want to know. I'm going to pretend it's a military thing and go about my business.
He "most likely" will be going to boot camp in January and we are hopeful it stays January so we can give him a great Thanksgiving and Christmas before he goes to Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
It took about 30 minutes before all the fun went out of the waterguns and everybody was done with swimming. Maybe it had to do with the pool feeling like bath water.
Sister L wanted to go to the movies but Little Man wanted nothing to do with the movies. The game was over with a score of 3-2 ( I have no clue who won) and all participants scattering to the four winds. Scootie, Niece, Nephew and Sister D headed South, and Sissy and I headed to Mammy's.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Sissy is ready for back to school...on FRIDAY. Again, who starts school on a Friday?! Apparently, Sissy.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
First, let me apologize for the lengthy post. My fams was lambasting me for not having posted in a few days.
Niece and Nephew spent the night with The Family that evening. To tell you the truth, I don't think they had much choice in the matter. Sister D practically threw the boys out of the car when we got back from the stores with a quick, "Okay, see you later...have fun...miss you" a wave and a cloud of dust. Apparently, the boys were in fine form. I know this because Sister L refused to ride any further in the car with them and we couldn't very well leave her at the mall (although I don't think it would be so bad...there's a CinnaBon -- 'nuf said!)
The day moved on and I took the kids to "town". It took about five minutes to go 'round town, but the most exciting part of the whole trip was the kids getting to see a real, original WalMart. Seriously, this thing only has six check out lanes (don't get excited -- only two were open). The kids had never seen anything less than the "Super-Duper We've Got Everything Under the Sun" WalMart. Our other adventure in town was me straight up messing up Scootie's game when he tried to get a phone number from the cashier @ Taco Bell. He WAS NOT HAPPY. Oh, wells. I needed my Chalupa and some caffeine.
Next up on the schedule was the "OFFICIAL" celebration complete with homemade German Chocolate cake (thanks to Sister D, aka Nephew and Niece's Mom) and some ice cream (thanks to Edy's) with another great rendition of Happy Birthday. After the festivities, we ran by the old house to check the mail (thanks US Postal Service for putting my old address as my new address. I guess that means the carrier has to take the mail out and then put it back in again? And for this, they are complaining that they may have to close some offices?!).
Back at the house, we just vegged out, except for Sissy. She proceeded to follow Billy The Kitty (BTK) around with the camera. Yes, I know I nicknamed the kitty after a serial killer. I'm sick like that.